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Thread: Somebody please help me

  1. #31
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    "Hot Love Pancake(s)"
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    Quote Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post
    He did this to himself. He didn't have the balls to just ask you out on a date to really show his intentions at the beginning. Instead he did the classic nice guy thing by being friends first so you will get you to know how great of a BF he would make by showering you with attention and gifts....and we all know that just gets them cast into the friends zone.
    I agree, this guy missed his chance to just go for it. That willingness to hustle for your attention plays a part in attraction. Many women like to feel pursued.

    The exception to this is when a guy chooses 'friends' b/c you are seeing someone else. I think Gribble called this 'standard vulture position', lol. In those cases, you can usually sense there's an attraction but its kept under wraps. I think most guys and gals have experienced this kind of 'friend'. It can even become a good friendship provided one keeps that underlying 'if only' in check. Depends on the maturity of those involved, tho. Sounds like this guy really doesn't want to deal with being 'just friends' if he's feeling more. That's to be respected, IMO. Maybe once he is seeing someone else you might be able to revisit the friendship, but don't be surprised if he's not interested. For some guys 'friends' with a girl = girlfriend.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  2. #32
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    Thank you everyone... I have come to a point where I'm not willing to let him treat me badly anymore when it is clear he never wanted my friendship in the first place. I'm not gg to wallow in guilt either... I've done enough moping.

  3. #33
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
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    Sorry HH, but its really for the best, I think. I do think some men and women can be great friends, even if there is some attraction, but only if both friends decide there is no romance happening and both are okay with it. He's not, so his loss of a friend in you. Sucks, but that's how it goes.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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