Evening all,
I've frequented this forum from time to time over the last 4 years. Had a couple screen names. Asked so many questions... Answered so many posts... Made friends and enemies...
My life has changed so much from the early days of my postings which were identical to so many others on here. Long winded explanations of love and loss designed to foster some closure or meaning...
Back then I was a college drop out nobody making less than $20k a year pining away for a girl. Life has changed so much. Virtually over night I went from making less than a coffee shop cashier to making over $100k a year and to date have traveled too 9 different countries for my job. Certain opportunities that I took advantage of only happen in sparing amount no matter how hard you work. I've worked hard but I know how lucky I am.
I wish I had some insight into relationships after all this. Girls have come and gone over the last 4 years but never did it bloom into love or a relationship. I'm no better at meeting women now than I was back then. I feel like such an interloper in my group of friends. They all make salaries comparable to mine or higher but I have nothing in common with most of them. They are where they are because their parents put them through school, bought them a car and, in some cases, still pay their bills. The women in my circle aren't very appealing to me. There is a parochial quality to them that makes me feel like I'm talking to an inexperienced child whenever a conversation leaves the confines of the shallow or material...
I tend to attract women from more "self-sufficient" backgrounds. Girls more down to Earth. I find myself more attracted to these types, women of personality and life experiences. They too seem to bring a fatal flaw to the table. If I had a list of reasons things never blossomed with these girls it would include; Kids, abusive Ex-boyfriends whom they are not over, abusive fathers, incredibly low self esteem... etc... With these girls it often feels like they are attracted to me because they think I can save them or fix their lives... or... They love my money... Its like being caught in a paradox.
There is a naive belief my mind is still holding onto that i'm decently attractive and that it isn't me with the problem its everyone else... Convenient but I must be the reason I'm alone...
My twenties are nearly depleted and i've spent the later half of the last decade wondering why what seems to come so easily to others has been an elusive ghost for me... The only thing life has demonstrated to me time and time again is there isn't a soul mate for everyone no matter how friendly, good looking, charismatic or well funded you are. Sometimes its just not in the cards...