Money-burning hobbies and friends. Should I say anything?

[Megu]

Hi guys,

I need advice on my husband spending. We both work hard and share all our expenses. He's always been spending a lot of money on cars, motorbikes and all the things that guys like so he hasn't got any saving even he earns twice of what I earn. I'm worried about our financial security so I spare some of my income on our saving, but because I'm the one with saving it can't help that any big bills like builders, plumbers, or even some expensive car services will come out of my account. I try to save up a lot, stop shopping, stop eating out while he goes out buys all his friends beers and gives everyone lifts. Sometimes I go to the pub with him and his friends and if he's already been spending a lot that month he will ask me to get all his friends drinks. I don't want to be mean and say no so I have to. He puts his friends on first priority. If we ever go out together, it's normally me who asked and paid.

I don't mind he's having some expensive hobbies but I think there should be a limit and it should not eat in my budget. It's so difficult to say because I know that these things make him happy. What should I say that will not hurt him?

Thanks in advance

[vashti]

Tell him it's time to budget your money, and give him an allowance. If he wants to act like a kid with money, you'll have to treat him like one.

If he won't budget, then stop giving him money for unnecessary things.

[gardenofjade]

Oh yeah, you have a moocher. Put money in your account for yourself and sock away as much money as he spends on his hobbies for you. Then discuss a budget. If he's anything like mine he will blow it off and change the subject, bad sign.
Make sure he doesn't have any secret credit cards or he will ruin your credit.
Throw a couple of bills his way and tell him you can't afford them.