Don't know what to do, but I can't keep doing this...

[findthelight]

Thanks for reading. Two years ago I met my best friend of the opposite sex on an online gaming site. There was no attraction, in fact we didn't even know what the other looked like for close to year, he simply provided me with advice on my game. As time went on we began to e-mail, then text, then call, then Facebook, the Skype. There was some mild flirtation early on, but we always agreed that we had a brother/sister type relationship and that's as far as it went. Fast foward two years and one week long vacation together and I'm head over heels in love with him.

We can't be together, there's absolutely no way. Due to his job and his family history, it would be impossible for him to obtain citizenship in my country. I could get citizenship to his, but he's almost 3000 miles away and I know absolutely no one where he lives. I also have a career that is geographically specialized and I couldn't perform it where he lives - it's a big gamble. For additional reasons that I won't go into here (they'd be obvious enough that if he ever found this site he'd immediately know it was me), I need to end this friendship. It's tearing me apart but there's no other way. The hard part is that he doesn't know how I feel and I don't want him to. We can't be together so me professing my love is only going to end in pain for both of us - if he feels the same way it'll just hurt us both that we can't be together. If he doesn't feel the same way, it will effectively end our friendship anyhow.

We've both recently gotten into new relationships after me being single for about 2 years and him being single for about 4. I want to give my new relationship a chance and I can't do that when he's in my head. It also rips me apart every time he tells me about his new girl. She's obviously making him happy which is my only true wish for him, but it hurts to know that the girl making him happy isn't me. I want him to give his new relationships a chance as well - I don't have the heart to tell him how I feel as it could shift his focus from his girlfriend and I could never put him in such an uncomfortable position.

So my dilemma is, how do I end this? All of my available options (just stop talking to him, make up some guilt-ridden lie, tell him the truth and risk hurting him, etc.) seem inappropriate. I've tried letting the friendship fizzle out on its own but because he doesn't understand what's going on with me, he's business as usual and I get all the standard texts, calls, e-mails, etc. This just prolongs my hurt.

Please provide some advice if you have any. I'm willing to bear the worst of the pain if it means he doesn't have to...

[smackie9]

It's time to close this part of your life and move forward with this new guy. Time to cut off contact with him because there really in no purpose to this friendship....it will only mess you up even more. It's better to get the pain over with quickly rather than draw it out into something long and painful, that will deny you any real happiness.