In the mind of a newly single male...

[annon25]

I really appreciate the time anyone who takes the time to read and answer this.

I just got out of an 8 month long relationship. I'm pretty much over the guy, as I knew weeks before we ended that it was coming. It was a pretty bland split, too. Nothing dramatic. I did what most single girls did. Went out with the ladies and hung out with different groups of people; did things for myself. This was really a big thing for me, because I am known to jump from one relationship to another rather quickly, and am trying really hard to break this pattern. In the midst of meeting new people and enjoying fresh company, I was introduced to a friend's classmate, and he and I hit it off pretty well. We both had the knowledge that we had just gotten out of a relationship, but it never came up. The night we met, we all hung out, drank, and had a good time. The next morning, he told me to "call him later," and instead, we ended up texting all night long. [I'm a little shy with the phone calls.] The texting went into the next day and he invited me to hang out with he and his roomates. That was a Thursday night, and I didn't text him until Sunday. Randomly, he texted me that he needed to "get out there" that he was newly single, and not ready to be in another relationship. He didn't want to "lead me on." I was cool about it and told him I was on the same page. He told me though, that he still wanted to hang out and talk with me and "if it's just strictly as friends, that's okay too." [I guess leaving open the FWB option.] I thought it was his nice way of saying "hey, let's back off a little," so I stopped texting him. Not more than 5 hours later, he texted me asking how the rest of my day was. We ended up talking all that night. Now, last night, he was the first texter as well, asking how the first day of my new quarter went. [Something my ex wouldn't even do!] We ended up talking all of last night too. I've been talking to a few people, but out of all, he's the one that's really been in the back of my head. I know that neither of us are near ready to jump into anything, and I'm making damn sure I stay single for awhile this time; but I don't really know how to read into this. I mean, as a guy, when you're not really "ready," what does it mean when you're staying up until 1am talking to a girl two nights in a row? There's a part of me that wants to get this great guy out of my head for the time being, because I have a feeling I'll cave into something we're not ready for and scare him off.

[haxan]

I mean, as a guy, when you're not really "ready," what does it mean when you're staying up until 1am talking to a girl two nights in a row?

Same as a girl, it's just fun/intriguing to have the attention of someone new and interesting, even when you're not ready for a new relationship. It's human nature, not really a guy or girl thing. What are you suppose to do, be a hermit because a relationship ended?

You're thinking too much about it. If you rebound with someone, you rebound with someone. It's inevitable really, just have fun and be yourself.

[seanni]

As a man, you should always be ready!Because you are a man, so you should always ready!

[smackie9]

It's just the new attention that has you excited...by no means does it mean a good relationship is just waiting for you....newly out of a relationship any kind of attention from anyone can be "intriguing". Haxan is right you are reading too much into this.

That pattern you speak of is starting to happen again so yes make a strong note of it that this is not what you really need right now. There are better things you can do to fill the void in with. FWB is ok for some but I can see you falling into the relationship trap again. Really give yourself a chance to be single for awhile. It takes time to drop old habits for sure, it just takes time to adjust.