Go on a date

[cast no shadow]

So, I was never good in dating. The most I got to with someone a friend introduce me to was 2 dates.
And well, it's not that I was really good with guys I knew by myself.

Me and my ex also started from two weeks of friendly roommates chatting and sex. After that we became a couple.

What is the conclusion? I can't date!


I have a blind-date next week, I just spoke on the phone with the guy and he sounds nice (no Facebook..).

I'm still heart broken, and constantly thinking about my ex, but I don't want to sit at home forever.
I had only one guy since the break-up, and it lasted also only two dates.


How do people do it??
Or more accurate - what the hell am I doing wrong?!

[zertaag]

What you are doing wrong is simple, you're just digging yourself a deeper hole, and a deeper excuse as to why you are an unsuccessful "dater". Read up about self fulfilling prophecies- a quick google search will provide you with all the information you need to start changing your mindset. You need to become more confident, and not set yourself up to fail...

Unless you're doing something horrendous like talking with loads of food in your mouth, or burping, or picking your nails at the table (I've seen girls do the last one and it's NASTY). I doubt you're doing anything like that though because my impression of you based on your post is that you could seriously benefit from more self love. Not to sound all preachy, but self confidence goes a long way.

Last but not least, you should NOT be looking for a guy just to fill the void. If you are still heart broken that means that you need time to heal. You should never make your recovery dependent on someone else carrying you through it, ya know? I know, it's easy for me to say that looking from the outside, but anyone on here will tell you that you have to let go of your ex and be happy with yourself before you start seeing other people.

Work on healing yourself before you get tangled up with someone else

[cast no shadow]

Thank you for your reply, I know you're right. I just needed to feel wanted again.

Wasn't much help, as all the date he asked me questions about my trip, which basically meant that I talked and thought about my ex all the time
(well, don't worry, he didn't know it was involving "an ex", I know that's good at least )
And the second after I just break with tears..

I do have confident problem. My ex sure didn't help with that.
I just hope I will find a way to get over this soon, I feel like I'm loosing it..

[smackie9]

Everyone knows that dating sucks....I hated it myself. The best way to meet people is to get involved in a activity or join a group or club of an interest to you. Just randomly dating guy to guy is like jumping out of a plane without a parachute. Having a strong social circle, going out doing different activities builds character, stimulates the brain, and makes you feel better about yourself.

[confusius]

So, I was never good in dating. The most I got to with someone a friend introduce me to was 2 dates.
And well, it's not that I was really good with guys I knew by myself.

Me and my ex also started from two weeks of friendly roommates chatting and sex. After that we became a couple.

What is the conclusion? I can't date!


I have a blind-date next week, I just spoke on the phone with the guy and he sounds nice (no Facebook..).

I'm still heart broken, and constantly thinking about my ex, but I don't want to sit at home forever.
I had only one guy since the break-up, and it lasted also only two dates.


How do people do it??
Or more accurate - what the hell am I doing wrong?!

Stop crying and put this in your head once for all: EVERYONE CAN DATE. There's no trick, no magic, nothing. Just be yourself

[JaimeRose5]

Over thinking it......Just go out, be yourself, and live in the moment. Most of the time those that think they are not good at dating think too much about the future and whether he is the one or not. Treat it like you are meeting a new friend and just take it one moment at a time.

Jaime

[portlandrocks]

First off, is "dating" important to you? What I mean is, what about "not good at dating" is actually bothering you? Are you bothered by the difficulty of long term relationships? Are you bothered by the difficulty of commitment etc. I would start by identifying EXACTLY what it is that is bothering you.

For example: It is easy to say - "I hate work and I am no good at it." When you really mean - "I hate being treated poorly by people I don't respect and because of that I don't put forth any effort." Try and look at dating the same way. It is pretty cool was some simple specific identification can do for you.

[cast no shadow]

Dating wasn't never really important to me. I was always I guess kinda scared from being in a relationship, that it will make me lose myself.
Than, after being in one I know I was right.
I'm now feeling so lost alone, and I try to find somekind of way to get someone to replace my ex, not believing it's possible.

I don't know who I want to date, what am I looking for, and if someone can want someone like me

[smackie9]

You need a good social group, and stop giving yourself anxiety when you go out on a date. Dating is like buys a car, you have to kick a lot of tires to find the right one, so relax and just go out and enjoy the company....it doesn't mean you HAVE to find a BF on the first hit.

BTW not everyone is looking for a soul mate. Some people just date casually for the company and not the commitment.