Want to ask a girl out... but

[lbnine]

I had a crush on a girl for a little while, but as I was dating someone I would never have acted on this. I let the feeling pass.

Couple of months later me and my girlfriend then started to grow apart and this girl I had a crush on tried to kiss me drunkenly, I told her to stop as I didn't want to cheat, but admitadley it put a little more strain on my relationship.

Now my realtionship has ended (single for 3 weeks now), things ended on very good terms, we are still living together but she plans to move out in the next couple of weeks. Now I really don't want to upset my ex but I would love to ask this girl out on a date. Is this innaporriate, atleast until she moves out?

Now I'm not even 100% sure this other girl likes me, but I don't want to leave it too long, and I want to cut my losses and just go ahead and ask her out rather than keep thinking 'does she or doesn't she?' But towards the end of the year I will be moving abroad so nothing too serious can probably come of it, but again I really like her, I don't want to miss a chance. Even if it just ends in us being closer friends I'd be happy; as at the moment we only really see eachother at work, and talk through text.

Also making the whole situation more complicated is not only do I work with this girl I work with my Ex... We had discussed what would happen when we start dating other people, and we agreed honesty was the best policy. But when a friend made a passing joke I was trying to have sex with a girl when I was drunk (which isn't true) my ex got quite mad, she said she doesn't trust me because I had cheated in the past. This really hurt me as she had promised me she wouldn't judge me on this past mistake. I don't blame her personally for this as she had put a lot of faith in me when we were dating, but it wasn't very nice to be accused of something I didn't do. I know the whole connotation "once a cheater always a cheater" but I hope I have proved I was adament not to make the same mistake again.. If she became jealous over nothing, how will she feel when she hears I have feelings for this girl?

Thanks,
lbnine

[smackie9]

Never ever date people you work with, period. You will see first hand what a hostile workplace is like if she does find out. Like I always say keep your personal life separate from you professional life. And stop living with GFs for the cheaper rent. Find a buddy/ room mate instead so you don't have to worry about having to kick them out when things go south.

I suggest you keep it in your pants for awhile and find a new job.

[lbnine]

My Ex was meant to move out but now she is saying she doesn't want too, she is comfortable here. But she already offered to be the one to move out, she has a friend close by with a spare room. I don't have anywhere to go.

My Ex actually works with us also, so I defintley see your point about it leading to a hostile situation. But me and my Ex will both be leaving the job soon. I really like the girl so I wanted to show her my intrest while I have a chance, even if we decided together not to do anything right away will it cause tension?

[smackie9]

I see my advice is falling on deaf ears.....do whatever.

[lbnine]

No, after more though I can see you are right. I can only make things painful for the 3 of us. I'm not gunna act on my feelings, I'm gunna make sure I do good by my Ex.
If things can work I'll let them fall into place, but I don't want to do something that will explode in my face.

Thanks.

[JaimeRose5]

I don't agree that you should never date someone you work with. In fact many long lasting relationships start with meeting at work. However, in your situation the only advice I can give you is to follow your heart and be honest with both of them. It may be a tricky situation, but if you have strong feelings for this girl, you should pursue them. After all, you only get one life!

Jaime

[smackie9]

I've worked for my compnay for over 20 years. I have seen more issues with people dating within the company than I have seen positive. It really depends tho, if you both work in different depts and don't work together side by side, you have less problems when you are fighting or splitting up.

My advice stands because I see a person that goes from one relationship to another in no time, and of course live together within months probably. I feel it would be beneficial for him at least to keep his pen out of the company ink, and just enjoy being single, and discover more what he has been missing about himself. He is too dependent on relationships to give him a life....just my 2 cents.

[lbnine]

We work in a small bar, so yeah it could be very akward. But me and my ex will only be there for another 2months tops.

I wasn't really looking for anything serious, I just wanted to take her out because I like her. We haven't really spent anytime alone outside of work so I couldn't really imagine how things would progress especially with me moving away and the end of the year and end of term coming soon.

My plan of action? Do nothing, see how it goes, and focus on my exams! Me and my Ex are still getting on like friends and I want it to be that way because we wont see eachother for a year. If I can see a time when I think asking this other girl out would not cause a problem I'll go for it.

To be honest right now I've got quite a lot of stress and I haven't had enough time apart from my ex to know how I really feel. I may be letting this girl be a distraction and when my ex is gone I may miss her.

Cheers guys.

[smackie9]

You really need to find a great group of buddies to occupy your life, to hang out with....stop depending on a women to fulfill that.