guys...give me some help!!!

[BoredGeorge]

My understanding is that during our early 20's men develop ridiculously strong feelings of attraction towards women, these feelings are called love. There is a trick to it because what makes us fall in love is basically very fertile characteristics seen in young women (such as very small amounts of hip fat - incase any women see this as an open opportunity to eat maccas) combined with a rush of hormones and increased availability of willing female flesh. Ideally, this occurs in adolescence, but due to social constructs this is often not possible. The age 21 in the modern world is approximately the right age for falling in love.

The problem being that at this age most women are stuck up and stupid and far to full of themselves to commit to a young man. They have all sorts of stupid ideas and boxes to tick in their head and many just miss the boat entirely. Back in the old days their families just told them to shut up and hurry up and get married.

As men get older, we start to realise that there are lots of women to screw and falling in love becomes a lot harder. However, women still operate with huge attitudes of entitlement and refuse to play the submissive role.

You sound like the kind of person who needs a table spoon on concrete. So what if he says you are wrong and corrects you ? Maybe you are wrong. If you want to be hyper sensitive about everything it is 100% better for the world if you stay alone.

I think you should consider looking inwards to see if these problems are caused by you. Also you're probably too old for him, whhich could be part of the problem, so best end it. I suggest, painfully, that someone is their 30s or early 40s might be ideal for you ?

[Jezzy80]

thank you for your perspective...i don't fully agree with it but i appreciate it. and i want you to know that i can and do acknowledge my role in this. i am not perfect and don't pretend to be. and i am not asking for perfection. but i'm also not going to be the submissive...i back down when i know it's in the best interest of the situation...but i will not, for him or anyone else, be stuck in a old cliche where mommy's little helper is the only way to deal with life.

[BoredGeorge]

thank you for your perspective...i don't fully agree with it but i appreciate it. and i want you to know that i can and do acknowledge my role in this. i am not perfect and don't pretend to be. and i am not asking for perfection. but i'm also not going to be the submissive...i back down when i know it's in the best interest of the situation...but i will not, for him or anyone else, be stuck in a old cliche where mommy's little helper is the only way to deal with life.

You are the woman, it is your job to follow it is the mans job to lead.

[smackie9]

thank you for your perspective...i don't fully agree with it but i appreciate it. and i want you to know that i can and do acknowledge my role in this. i am not perfect and don't pretend to be. and i am not asking for perfection. but i'm also not going to be the submissive...i back down when i know it's in the best interest of the situation...but i will not, for him or anyone else, be stuck in a old cliche where mommy's little helper is the only way to deal with life.

Saddle up and learn from this experience. Time to change course....

[Jezzy80]

as noted above, my significant other is away for work....he's only about a half an hour, staying with someone who needs support. he came over tonight for a little while to hang out and we watched a movie. i have to admit i was a little distant...in the sense that i was not hanging all over him...and most likely because i can't get the things all of you are saying out of my head. he was not impressed with my lack of attention, in fact he was very attentive, trying to rub my feet after a "long day", etc...so, gentlemen, riddle me this...if he leads and i follow, then does it make it alright for him to not be attentive and i'm supposed to be okay with that but when i'm not attentive it is clearly a problem for him....????

[haxan]

so, haxan, do you think he only wanted me because he couldn't have me? and now that he does, the interest is gone?

It's not that hard to figure out. What's the only dynamic that has changed since you first met as "friends" and you were married?

Anyway, maybe some long term changes in the relationship can occur and it can work out. That's about all you can hope for, right?

[BoredGeorge]

as noted above, my significant other is away for work....he's only about a half an hour, staying with someone who needs support. he came over tonight for a little while to hang out and we watched a movie. i have to admit i was a little distant...in the sense that i was not hanging all over him...and most likely because i can't get the things all of you are saying out of my head. he was not impressed with my lack of attention, in fact he was very attentive, trying to rub my feet after a "long day", etc...so, gentlemen, riddle me this...if he leads and i follow, then does it make it alright for him to not be attentive and i'm supposed to be okay with that but when i'm not attentive it is clearly a problem for him....????

Yes that it is exactly how it works. You're learning. But what works for each couple might be different, try it and see how you go. Plus you should always try and make it about him and not about you.

[Sixpacj]

Yes that it is exactly how it works. You're learning. But what works for each couple might be different, try it and see how you go. Plus you should always try and make it about him and not about you.

This is very insightful

[Wakeup]

Plus you should always try and make it about him and not about you.

That only works if he is giving her the same consideration. If he's not (which he isn't) then you get threads complaining and resenting just like this one.

[Jezzy80]

That only works if he is giving her the same consideration. If he's not (which he isn't) then you get threads complaining and resenting just like this one.

exactly wakeup....that's my point...if i'm not getting the same consideration then why would i make the extra effort...to know i am pleasing my man? being happy and feeling satisfied works both ways i believe.

[smackie9]

That only works if he is giving her the same consideration. If he's not (which he isn't) then you get threads complaining and resenting just like this one.

[smackie9]

exactly wakeup....that's my point...if i'm not getting the same consideration then why would i make the extra effort...to know i am pleasing my man? being happy and feeling satisfied works both ways i believe.