Lose the person you love to deal with your inner demons?

[canadian1983]

Hi guys,

I'm getting very close to breaking up with an amazing girl who i've been with for 2.5 years for reasons that may seem completely crazy to some of you. Your thoughts and suggestions would be appreciated as I need some serious advice. My relationship is giving me a significant amount of anxiety to the point that my symptoms would diagnose me with generalized anxiety disorder. Maybe that in itself is a reason to break up (cause my gut is telling me to move on). Anyways, here is the story:

MY GIRLFRIEND IS AN AMAZING PARTNER AND I HAVE ZERO (ABSOLUTELY ZERO) DOUBTS THAT SHE'LL MAKE A GREAT MOTHER AND WIFE[/B]
My gf is probably one of the kindest and most mature people i've ever met. She's sexy and beautiful. She loves humanity more than I ever could. She's a nurse and I'm a doctor and I would easily say that she cares about her patients much more than I do. She cares deeply about her family and would do anything for them. She's also very respectful to my family and shows a lot of affection and love. She has very obvious maternal instincts and I would hate to see her not becoming a mother one day (doesn't matter with whom). We get along very well on many different levels and have an amazing sexual chemistry. I think about her as my future wife and the mother of my kids on a daily basis and the image of her holding our baby gives me a sense of happiness and calm.

BUT THESE ARE THE ANXIETIES/DEMONS INSIDE ME THAT ARE PUSHING ME TO LEAVER HER BEHIND[/B]

1. She's 1.5 years older than me. The number may not matter much but i keep thinking about her aging and becoming unattractive. All i can think about is her at 50 looking like a grandma while i look distinguished and still attractive. I've been obsessed with these thoughts and have read many many online articles/blogs about how white women age very fast and can look a decade older than their age. In her case, she certainly looks her age (30) and i do strongly believe i look a bit younger. This worries me because i have seen women go downhill quickly after their mid 30's and i don't want to lose my physical attraction for her. I sometimes wonder if I should just listen to my parents' notion that a man should marry someone 5-10 years younger as women age faster than men. Dump her because she's not young?

2. I haven't had a very extensive dating history and probably haven't slept with enough girls. I was in a long-term relationship that lasted 9 years (age 17-26). This relationship was probably one of the worst mistakes of my life and I attribute my low number of sexual partners to this decade-long disaster. I've only slept with 4 girls in my entire life and this gives me great insecurity as I know the average numbers out there are easily above 10. My male ego keeps reminding me that I deserve more and that I should move on from this relationship and go on a sexual rampage. I'm a physically fit decent looking guy who as previously mentioned is also a doctor. I know that i would do relatively well in the dating world and could satisfy my male desire for serial monogomous sex in no time. I've recently developed a bit of a egoist narcissistic complex about what I can offer girls who are on the hunt. I believe that i'm a great catch in a world where good men are becoming increasingly hard to find.

3. She was previously married and that ex of hers was 7 years her senior. Although i've tried to accept and move on from the fact that she was previously married, I keep perseverating on this issue. Again, there is male ego involved. Based on what's she's told me and what i know about her ex, I'm clearly a superior catch compared to the guy. I am much much much more educated, younger, and fitter. It angers me that this older guy enjoyed her while she was in her 20's and then destroyed their relationship by cheating on her. Although he seems to really regret leaving her, it still really bugs me that he HAD her and CHOSE to give her up and if it wasn't for his infidelity, she wouldn't have left him. I don't know why but this just destroys me. I feel like if this loser of a guy was dating an angel 7 years his junior, then i should be dating some hot ass goddess and not my gf. Here goes the male ego again. I hate myself for saying this stuff!

I'm beginning to believe that i haven't matured enough to be with this girl. Perhaps my male ego is getting the better of me. I have to make a decision regarding our relationship soon because I don't want to waste her time or mine.

Any thoughts? I know, i'm a bit of an a&$ hole!

[pisces25]

If you hadn't of posted something similar about your gf's age and looks in the past I would think you were trolling.

Anyway please break up with her so she can find a decent guy, you sound like a total tosser.

Good luck with your sex rampage.

[effie]

Hey i agree with pisces, she will be better off with out you.

[Saya]

Yes women do age faster than men, BUT it doesn't mean that, all women are like this.
Even though you start to be with someone who is 10years younger than you, it doesn't mean that she will not age faster than you, it is still possible that she can age faster than you.
This depends on people and their life style as well.

Stop being so shallow and selfish.

She's better off without you.

[searock]

I agree with the others. Break up with her so she can find a more decent guy. The reasons you wrote that make you want to break up with her disgust me. If you ever have male kids you would very likely transfer those ideas to them, and the thought of it happening profoundly disturbs me.

I don't think you're an asshole, you're just prejudiced and a bit selfish, IMO. Who cares how many women you sleep with? The best thing anyone could ever wish for is to find a partner that makes you not even want to sleep with other people, because you are happy and satisfied with her. Clearly, your current partner is not the one. I doubt you'll ever find her, since you seem set on having as many sexual partners you can, without realizing that your goal shouldn't be that one (unless you're, like, 13 years old or something). Unless you change your worldview, you'll probably end up alone and miserable, or with someone you don't feel happy and content with (because you are preventing it from happening).