have i done something wrong?

[confusedboy1992]

So basically, me and my girlfriend have been going out for about a month now, but last week I went to visit some friends at their uni's as I haven't seen them in a while (this was planned way before I met the girl). We were texting each day and she was saying how she hated me not being back home, and we had planned to speak on the phone each night after she got home from work. She never rang, and didn't answer when I rang , and now I'm back she seems off with me and very blunt via text, and hasn't answered if I try to call, and has planned to see me twice but backed out last minute both days. Don't know if I've missed anything, but I can't see any reason why she would be acting like this.

Anyone got any ideas, or is it just me overthinking everything? Any help would be much appreciated

[Cerby]

Yep, she is a clingy needy girl that needs to be validated non-stop every day. You went and did something that wasn't centered around her so she got frustrated and for one reason or another, turned off of you.

Be happy with this, based on what you've said, she was going to be more hassle than she was worth.

[pisces25]

Way too much hard work. Consider yourself lucky to be dodging that bullet.

[Alexis]

Based off what you said she has alot of growing up to do

[confusedboy1992]

Thanks for the replies guys, much appreciated. I didn't explain myself very well, we don't text non stop all day everyday, its maximum 3 or 4 texts a day each way, she isn't clingy or needy, we both live our lives and see each other when we can, I play football 4 times a week and shs most nights and has uni work to do, so I don't understand how it could go from being a well working relationship to suddenly her being off and kinda cold. Hopefully she will call tonight, anymore advice would be appreciated and I will keep you guys updated as to what happens.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Just tell her you feel like she's ignoring you and you think that the two of you should break up. She'll either beg you not to, or she'll be okay with it. She's just trying to prove a point, so she will probably go with option 1. Send her a text message saying pretty much what you've said here, and then throw the break up card down. Just say, You've been ignoring me lately, and you don't seem like you want to be my girlfriend , so we should just break up. Guarantee you get an instant response.

[confusedboy1992]

She didn't ring me last night but she texted me this morning, she said she's been really busy and didn't get a chance to text me, and that she was tired after work so didn't ring. Am I right in thinking that she could have at least sent one text between now and Sunday afternoon? I know she was busy but how busy can someone be to not even text their own boyfriend for 48 hours? I'm probably getting more annoyed at this than normal because I haven't seen her or spoken to her (on the phone) in over a week, is it just me overreacting? She means the world to me and I just want to spend some time with her!

[Cerby]

No, you're not overreacting. A relationship is about both parties feeling some level of satisfaction with how things are going. If you're in the position when you're upset over the other persons actions and that person doesn't seem to care, then you're in trouble.

Right now she is COMPLETELY in control and you're stuck in a position where anything you say to her could be interpreted as whining. A strong individual at this point would say "I don't need this", call her up, and break it off with her. You don't need to be treated like you're worthless, it's not a relationship at that point.

[confusedboy1992]

Thanks again mate, wise words for sure. I'm going to talk to her about it first before I do anything drastic, I know we can have an awesome relationship together and I really want to be with her, hopefully she was just genuinely busy and she'll promise to make more effort next time, or at least warn me that she's busy. She is hopefully going to ring tonight after work, and hopefully she has a day off soon so I can see her

*crosses fingers*

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Man up you ****ing pussy. It's only been a month and she's doing this to you. You're a fool, and you know she wasn't too busy to send a simple text. As Cerby said, anything you bring up at this point is considered whining, and for good reason. Call her up and break it off, and see what her reaction is.

This girl knows she's got you by the balls. Take your balls back. If you're not going to break it off, you need to at least start seeing other girls so you're not such a pussy whipped bitch over this girl that clearly doesn't give a shit about you.

[HeartIsAching]

Man up you ****ing pussy. It's only been a month and she's doing this to you. You're a fool, and you know she wasn't too busy to send a simple text. As Cerby said, anything you bring up at this point is considered whining, and for good reason. Call her up and break it off, and see what her reaction is.

This girl knows she's got you by the balls. Take your balls back. If you're not going to break it off, you need to at least start seeing other girls so you're not such a pussy whipped bitch over this girl that clearly doesn't give a shit about you.

Who peed in your Wheaties lately, dude?

[confusedboy1992]

Relationships are about communication, just ending it straight away with every person you date because of the first small issue isn't gunna get you anywhere, apart from increasing the number of notches on your bedpost. Why would I dump a hot Italian girl who is a massive nerd like me, who has similar interests and some different as well to me, just because of one minor problem? I'm not letting go of this one just like that my friend, call me what you want but I think your wrong. Relationships require work from both sides, giving up without putting in any effort is not an option.

[Salubrious]

She is just pissed off. Send her flowers and chase her around like a puppy dog she'll come around.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Relationships are about communication, just ending it straight away with every person you date because of the first small issue isn't gunna get you anywhere, apart from increasing the number of notches on your bedpost. Why would I dump a hot Italian girl who is a massive nerd like me, who has similar interests and some different as well to me, just because of one minor problem? I'm not letting go of this one just like that my friend, call me what you want but I think your wrong. Relationships require work from both sides, giving up without putting in any effort is not an option.

Relationships are about communication but she isn't doing any of that. Quite the opposite. It's not a small problem either, lack of interest is a big problem, or else you wouldn't be here. Relationships require work from both sides?? Where's the work from her? I'm no math professor, but by my calculation, you haven't spoken to your "girlfriend" for a quarter of your relationship. That would be like your parents not speaking for 5+ years.

The point of initiating a break up conversation is to show her that it's a serious problem for you, instead of just whining about it. You have to show her that you're ready to leave if this is how the relationship is going to be. And you have to actually be ready to leave, or else you're just a doormat/nice guy/pussy/whatever you wanna call it.

@HeartIsAching, I peed in my Wheaties. Urine is sterile, and I like the way it tastes. I'm grumpy because I ran out of Cocoa Krispies and have been relegated to Wheatie, grrr. Seriously though, I just tell people what I would want to hear. The more whipped someone is, the harsher I come down, just like I would want a friend to come down on me. And this guy is ****ing whipped.

[confusedboy1992]

That's what I mean about communication, I will put the effort in to get my point across and hopefully she will see that its upsetting me, and then promise to put more effort in, in future. She's working every night till next week, so I'm gunna have to wait a while yet before I can see her.Id rather say something to her in person instead of via text, so I'm going out of my mind waiting for her. I can't even keep myself busy as my friends are at uni and I've hurt my back so I can't play any sport for a few weeks while I'm having physio. Is it worth asking what's keeping her so busy? Or should I wait till I see her in person, as it might sound like whining?