Should we break up?

[fersher]

Hi. I'm new here

I'm looking for advice, seeing as me and my boyfriend have been going through a serious rough patch.

I'm 18, and he's turning 21 this year, and we've been dating for almost 3 years. We're quite serious, I would like to think, despite our young ages. I'm a senior in high school and he works full time as a mechanic. We started dating in a weird situation (best friend's sister's ex, both fresh out of relationships), but we hit it off really well. We became very close very quickly, and became inseparable. We've had our fair share of problems, but nothing we hadn't been able to get through, until now.

It wasn't a big fight, really, it's more like a pile of tiny fights thrown together. We've been bickering and arguing over every little thing for about a month, and today I just had the last straw. He picked me and my friend up to drop her off at home after he got off work, and everything was fine. But I honked at a friend of mine and he yelled at me for no reason, and we got into an argument once we dropped off my friend. It was basically about how he's been getting mad at me for no reason and taking his anger out on me, and after 15 minutes he just told me to get out of his car. Granted, I was only a few blocks down from my house, but I thought it was extremely rude, and that's what pushed it for me. So I stormed off. Then, a few hours later, I went back to talk to him, and it just escalated into a huge fight, end with me telling him I was done. We would start fighting about stupid things that weren't even on topic of the original fight, and everything the other said was just completely wrong and offensive.

I understand he's under a lot of stress, because his family business isn't doing well and he's worried they might close and he wouldn't have a job. I'm also quite stressed, because I go to school for 6 hours a day, then have work for 7+ hours a day twice a week, as well as dealing with college plans and looking for a second job. We wanted to move out together, because neither of us has the best home life and we're so close, and for the most part, more mature than others. I'm stressed about finances and how we'll afford moving out, and how I have to go to school and work, both full-time starting Fall. He's stressed about his current job.

I just want to know- should I bother continuing the relationship? I really love him, but I don't want to be stringing along something that isn't working, if it isn't :/
I tried to be as fair to both of us as possible, and any opinions are greatly appreciated. Thanks everyone

-Amanda

[smackie9]

Give each other a few days apart to kool off to reflect on the issues in your relationship. Then regroup, sit down, and calmly ask what are the main issues that are troubling him....discuss all the other things like your going to school and working etc, and work out some solutions, maybe make a compromise or two.. If this isn't possible, then you will have your answer.

I personally don't think he is so hard done by in the business falls through. If he is a ticketed qualified mechanic he will have np finding work. If he is enterprising enough he can just put an ad on craigslist " mobile mechanic" or teach shop night classes for novice do-it -yourselfers or do side jobs. You both have plenty of time to start saving your money and checking into what you can afford. You have too much going on in your head. Just take a break so you can get your thoughts together..... after a breather I'm sure you two can work something out.

[Jeff12]

Start slowly are interested in this.

[smackie9]

Start slowly are interested in this.

[dem862]

Well, it could be stress, but you both are handling it very poorly. This has to improve if you are going to continue. Don't take it out on each other. However, very often when the break-ups start happening, it could be because the magic is gone and it is time to move on.

[Dakini1]

I agree with the others. A good long term relationship is always going to have stresses. Part of getting older and wiser is learning how to navigate the ups and the downs. Don't let your first rough patch break you guys up if the rest is fundamentally good. Instead try to look for ways you can grow and improve on what you have, and sort out what's not working. BTW with everything you have going on I'm really impressed with how well you're handling it all.....