I ****ed it up, but I want her back

[idiot89]

I really screwed up but I'm in love with this girl and I want to know if you think I can ever get her back, even as a friend.

A little background, we met 4 years ago. She liked me but id no idea. We had one exceptionally drunk night back then, but we just laughed it off and were both too embarrassed to talk about it. We became best friends, and have been best friends through all our relationships for the past 4 years. She never liked my girlfriends, but after 6 months into my past relationship that lasted 2 and half years, she got really close with my ex, we were like 3 best friends.

So here's where the trouble starts. Ill try be as honest as possible here. Broke up with my ex, it was messy. Had few relationships with other girls over a few months. Then my best friend. Who ill just call Jane here, so she and I end up flirting, we always flirt, but we start pushing boundaries and really flirting, on nights out we'd get close and dance and stuff. But Jane is casually seeing someone else. We end up drinking together, the 3 of us and were making sexy eyes all night. The tension is really high and the person she's seeing is like a third wheel. So we talk about it the next day and admit we want each other. This goes on for a while before we end up kissing, for hours one day. Its intense. Like from a story book. Magic.

She tells me she's liked me forever but learned how to handle it. She doesn't believe I've been falling in love with her for years, I'm just an idiot and was clueless. So I didn't act how I know she likes to be treated. She likes being teased and not being chased. Ignored a little even, but I couldn't be bothered playing that game, she's my best friend who had just told me she always knew we'd end up together, and that once we did, that'd be it. Like married. So forgive me for not playing her games here. But we ended up arguing and she said she couldn't do it for a number of reasons, one being how close she was with my ex. I was too full on and it sacred her away. We ended up sleeping together anyways and it was amazing. She said she couldn't literally remember the last time she'd had sex that good. And, that it'd been years or whatever. So I'm delighted but still she's sayin she can't do this with me. We'd had couple more little kissing sessions and made out and stuff a few times also,but on her terms.


Next part, and don't hate me here. We got exceptionally drunk one night and got in a fight. I don't remember this but I was agro toward her and she was frightened of me. So it was case closed. I mean she couldn't forgive me, I knew that. She couldn't trust me as a partner. But anyways. Next night we go out drinking and have great fun, almost have sex but don't . Following night we do sleep together and we're kissing loads the next day and all is Well . But then bam, reality check, and she's barely my friend. Makes no effort to meet up, just not interested in anything. We kinda talk but she's told me she's worried about going out on a night out in case we end up together. She's back casually dating the girl from before but says it means nothing coz its ending soon. Oh yea icing on the cake , she's moving to another country in a few months. I was meant to go with her. We'd planned it for years really. But I'm staying to do a masters degree.

I know it seems crazy. You probably think I should just get over it. Except I can't. For the past four months I've been goin crazy. Last month she's been blowing me off just saying she's busy. I pretend I believe her and its cool, but I know the girl inside out. She's pushing me away. I would move on except I'm fully sure I would marry this girl. Even my last relationship that lasted 2 and half years, never gave me the passionate love feelings that I have towards Jane. I would be really good to her and good for her. But how can I convince her of that now I've lost her trust? Did she lie about wanting me all these years to make me fall for her or did I just screw it up so badly. I'm not sure if I broke her heart or she's breaking mine..

[1confused]

i think the best thing is to not contact her unless she contacts you first. If you keep contacting her you will push her away. Theres nothing worse than needy men who leave missed phone calls, voicemails,emails and countless texts. Its clear from her excuses that shes not interested in seeing you. And shes already told you it would compromise her relationship with her friend so obv her loyalties lie with her. Maybe she just wanted what she couldnt have (you) and now shes had you theres no game or chase or anything so shes not interested and finds it awkward being friends. Theres nothing saying you wont meet up in later life and start again but for now its not what she wants. Shes moving away which is a good thing for you as you can get over easier.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but im trying to be honest. Or you could be totally honest with her tell her how u feel and she what she replies What have you got to lose shes moving away anyway. And respect her reply if you decide to talk to her.
Hope this helps

[smackie9]

Yup get over it.

[Joshua1]

Thanks for your post.