Just when you think you know someone...

[lazyblue]

Quick background...I was with my ex for 6 years. We met/started dating when we were 18 and we were each others first serious relationship. We had a great relationship but 6 years later he, completely out of the blue, dumped me as soon as I got back from a family holiday. He seemed genuinely upset about the break up and he dragged it on for 3 days because he was so unsure of what he wanted. His reason for the break up was that he said he didn't love me the way he used to. This all happened about 10 months ago.

We went our separate ways and only saw each other once about 3 months ago because I had a bunch of our shared stuff in storage and I wanted to give him his share. It was great seeing him. We got on really well. I knew he was seeing someone (he started dating her a month after he dumped me), but it felt like we had real chemistry and when I went to leave he started crying. We both wanted to stay friends and he said maybe we could go to the pub occasionally, but as he was seeing someone and as I felt like there was chemistry I decided that it was too soon to be friends and it wouldn't be fair on his gf.

Anyway...I found out yesterday that he got engaged 6 months ago! So only about 4 months after he left me. He sure kept that quiet when I saw him! I am so shocked. I now feel like I never really knew him because rushing into an engagement is the last thing I thought he would do, especially so soon after our relationship. I mean we never got engaged! He always said to me that he wanted to marry me but feels like saving up to buy our own flat would be better, which I agree with (I don't really feel like marriage changes much in a relationship). Saying that, about 2 months before he left me he asked me to get my engagement ring finger measured. I remember when my sister got engaged (after being with her bf for a year and a half) and my ex said that they were stupid because they were rushing things! My ex doesn't even live with his gf (or at least they weren't living together when I saw him, maybe they are now).

I feel like I am over him so I'm not bothered that he is engaged to someone else as such. Its more that I feel like either I didn't know him very well or those few months he spent with her before they got engaged meant so much more to him than our 6 years together- both of which are really horrible to think about. Not really sure what I'm after by posting this...guess I just want to rant/get other peoples opinions on the situation.

[oneandonly]

.....I feel like either I didn't know him very well

He has changed or changed his perspective about engagement/marriage. People change their mind all the time. It doesn't mean you didn't know him very well then.

........or those few months he spent with her before they got engaged meant so much more to him than our 6 years together...

I am sure those 6 years has a special place in his heart and he learnt a lot from it. Each relationship has its meaning and value on its own, be it good or bad. I know it's hard not to but don't try to compare. You two just didn't work out. Leave it at that and move on.