Found my man on a swingers website

[IndiReloaded]

I have confronted him about all this and he tells me he is sorry, embarrassed and he doesn't know why he did it and has promised not to do it again. He tells me he loves me and wants to put this behind us and move on.

Oh for goodness sake. He knows exactly why he did this. He's looking for something more, as Haxan has already said. He's sent racy messages and his nude photo to other girls. This is about *him*, not you.

This is not a guy who is into you, and its pretty close to what I'd call cheating. Go find a nice man who will respect you. There are plenty of good guys who are amazing in bed and will inspire you to be amazing too. This one is already making you insecure and it will only get worse. Get rid of him already.

[Sixpacj]

You don't have to be a male to answer here. Hell, you don't even have to be a good man... apparently!

Bla, bla, "I am hurt and and defensive, and whoever doesn't exactly share my thoughts and feelings isn't a 'good man' "

[Wakeup]

Bla, bla, "I am hurt and and defensive, and whoever doesn't exactly share my thoughts and feelings isn't a 'good man' "

Uhm.. No. Whoever shares most of Your thoughts and feelings would also appear to be a misogynist though.

Since Misogynists are haters of women in general, then in general they are far from good men in the realm of how they treat women or, even how they fail at really understanding them.

OP: He may very well love you and want to keep you but he appears to be unable to maintain a monogamous relationship with you or anyone else for that matter. You either leave him to his NSA and you move on or you join him in his NSA and you too get to enjoy the delights of strange. If that's not you and you'd be jealous, insecure and angst ridden then I suggest you get out now and/or as I said, try couples counceling (if he's willing) and take a chance. Your call. Just be sure you know what you're getting into. If you've already been cheated on in the past then this very RED flag should have you running from this man. IMO...

[smackie9]

This is not something he just got into or is curious about. It's a lifestyle he had hidden for awhile. I feel you have neglected the warning signs through out the relationship and made the mistake to believe his song and dance.

Why he doesn't leave you? Quite possibly he likes the thrill of doing this in secret behind your back...increases or heightens the sexual high. But whatever the case may be, he isn't going to give this up. You are still young, you just need some self worth and get off your butt and end it. Breakups are not always easy but once it is don't you will feel 100% happier about your life and with yourself.

[smackie9]

Uhm..

Since Misogynists are haters of women in general, then in general they are far from good men in the realm of how they treat women or, even how they fail at really understanding them.

[Sixpacj]

Uhm.. No. Whoever shares most of Your thoughts and feelings would also appear to be a misogynist though.

Since Misogynists are haters of women in general, then in general they are far from good men in the realm of how they treat women or, even how they fail at really understanding them.

No and no. You are wrong. But thanks for writing that a "misogynist" is a "bad man" for "failing at really understanding women." This reveals a lot about you ;-) You are a bit of an intellectual and emotional dictator. Men either agree with you (they reallllyyy understand you) or else they are misogynists.

Would you say the same about women, that "a woman who fails at really understanding men" is a misandrist? She is not inexperienced, stupid, malicious, or damaged - she is simply a misandrist?

PLease, why do you keep spamming "ask a male" threads? Do you see me offering unsolicited info under "ask a female"?

[Wakeup]

No and no. You are wrong. But thanks for writing that a "misogynist" is a "bad man" for "failing at really understanding women."

Okay, it's plain to see that you don't fair well with reading comprehension so no point debating with you. Thanks for playing though.

This reveals a lot about you ;-) You are a bit of an intellectual and emotional dictator. Men either agree with you (they reallllyyy understand you) or else they are misogynists.

that's just silly.

Would you say the same about women, that "a woman who fails at really understanding men" is a misandrist?

no and I didnt' say it about men in general either but you don't have good reading comprehension so I guess thats why you are being silly.

PLease, why do you keep spamming "ask a male" threads? Do you see me offering unsolicited info under "ask a female"?

Oh, okay so using your logic just because I don't agree with you and your rhetoric I (all women) should stay out of a sub forum that has no restrictions?

Just so you understand: If you read back it didn't take a man in particular to tell this Op what both genders agree to. That being she should get out of this relationship. Your own opinion as well. Your's just had to be dragged out of you only after you chastised her for snooping while avoiding the topic altogether of what a slime ball her partner was/is being.

Sionara!

[Sixpacj]

1. "Okay, it's plain to see that you don't fair well with reading comprehension so no point debating with you. Thanks for playing though."

I accept your surrender. If you can't keep up, don't step up :-)


2. "no and I didnt' say it about men in general either but you don't have good reading comprehension so I guess thats why you are being silly.

See item 1 hereinabove.


3. "Oh, okay so using your logic just because I don't agree with you and your rhetoric I (all women) should stay out of a sub forum that has no restrictions?"

The above don't make any sense. I advise you to stay out of "ask a male" threads because.... the questions are addressed to men, and you are not one. If you insist, nonetheless, on hijacking the thread driven by some deep insecurity you seem to have about males, it is a bit disrespectful towards posters and the men who answer here. Again, I don't see men do this to the same extent under "ask a female".

The restriction is formulated in the title of the section: "ask a male".

4. "Just so you understand: If you read back it didn't take a man in particular to tell this Op what both genders agree to. That being she should get out of this relationship. Your own opinion as well. Your's just had to be dragged out of you only after you chastised her for snooping while avoiding the topic altogether of what a slime ball her partner was/is being."

Again, you gender-based insecurity showing through. You need help with that.

I didn't "chastise" anyone. I enquired about further info, having which information seemed to me to be a prerequisite for giving an informed opinion. The information we then obtained pointed to OP's serious insecurity issues. It may or may not be related to why her man is looking for greener pastures. But if I hadn't asked, we'd be under the impression that her man has started to look at swingers websites out of the blue. This may or may not have been the case but I sense there may be a connection between the two.

I offer information in a "ask a male" thread because I am a male and due to my age and experience I think I can be of some help. However, I refuse to play the role of a therapist and answer each question with some variant of "it's not your fault". Sorry if this bothers you that much, but in a lot of cases it is actually the woman's "fault". And before you go into your insecurity-driven tantrum, observe my use of the words in a lot of cases. This doesn't mean "always". And the point why women ask questions of men online, under the guise of anonimity, is so they can get info which will help them steer clear of similar mistakes in the future. They are not served well by their fellow women who reinforce their insecurities, or ignorance, in a silly attempt to defend the "collective female dignity" or something.

5. Sionara!

The correct Japanese is sayounara, or さようなら

[Wakeup]

"serious insecurity issues" Her boyfriend is acting sketchy and her gut led her to do what she did and she finds out that he's pre-meditatedly setting it up to cheat on her. "serious insecurity issues?" get real.

I'm going to 'ask a male' why you're such a whiney bitch. :-)

[IndiReloaded]

Pssst! You two! Sixj & WU:


The OP hasn't come back... think we're done here.

[Wakeup]

Pssst! You two! Sixj & WU:


The OP hasn't come back... think we're done here.

Whats your point! :o)

[Sixpacj]

Pssst! You two! Sixj & WU:


The OP hasn't come back... think we're done here.

Hahahahaha yeah, you have a good point here ;-) I am done then. ;-)

[maria178]

At the same time, and her personal problems, not put my stress level is greatly reduced.

[Sixpacj]

I'm going to 'ask a male' why you're such a whiney bitch. :-)

Hahahah again, you can't keep up, no arguments left, or anything whatsoever, so you resort to personal insults. How typical.

Well done, fatty, you've deserved a nice, big doughnut ;-)

[bluesummer]

Hahahah again, you can't keep up, no arguments left, or anything whatsoever, so you resort to personal insults. How typical.

Well done, fatty, you've deserved a nice, big doughnut ;-)

Hi pot, this is the kettle calling.