I don't know what to do

[eroded tooth]

This is my first time ever trying something like this, so if I mess up. sorry.

Here is the background, I met this girl and from the moment I met her, I knew she was special. We were married five weeks later. I had the opportunity to live and work in Europe for about a year. She dropped her job, life, and her Masters program and came and lived as my wife for a year.

I have a daughter with a previous girl. I don't know what exactly happened, but when I returned to the states, everything was different. During the time we were overseas, the paternity suit, the visitation and the child support were in the courts. In fact I returned from my job to settle it all. To make a long story short, things were sort of settled. The mother of my child was psycho to an extreme. Lots of phone calls and messages, sometimes fourty or so a day. The most extreme lies you can imagine. This caused a lot of concern with my wife and I. Most of all my wife seemed to believe this woman instead of me, her husband. The two of them met and my ex-girlfriend concocted some story about the two of us sleeping together. A lie, but my wife believed it. You can probably imagine the problems we were having.

So after a few monts of this I said to heck with it. I told my wife I needed time to sort out my head, to see what was going on with my ex. I don't know why, I wasn't in love with my ex, I did feel mighty guilty about missing a whole year of my kids life. To sum up, I moved back in with my ex. Not with, in. No sex, no relationship. I thought it was because I didn't have any money but needed a place to stay. Did I mention my wife was in charge of the finances? Made lots of money and it all got spent. Anyway, of course I realized right away my ex wanted me back, I didn't want her, so I left, where to go? Back to my wife. Same thing again a few weeks later.

This happend a couple more times. The last time my wife kicked me out--rightfully so I might add--I got my own place.

A few months go by. I realize how stupid I was, my wife calls me and wants to talk. We have a romance like you would not believe. I love this woman more than I can say. It turns out she had been trying to get over me and dating and stuff. She met this man we'll call J. They had sex until he had to return to Australia--about a week. My wife claimed this snapped her out of her depression and decided to call me. Great. I knew what I wanted and how stupid I was. We were going to get married again.

Then it happened. I accidentally saw one of her emails to J. She professed her love and how she couldn't wait to see his sweet face. It turns out that he accepted a job in the same town and was moving. I confronted my wife, she cried, said she was sorry, loved me and would be my wife. She cancelled that email account.

A few days go by, I discovered by accident that she had opened another email account and was still communicating with J. I aske her to stop and she said ok.

I go away for a work trip for a week. I come back and a couple of days later, she says she needs time. She dumped me. I was distraught. It turns out she had to spend time with J. She spends time with him, when she gets lonely, she calls me and I shower her with love and attention. When the weekend shows up, she tells me goodbye to be with J.

What do I do? I asked her if she loves me and wants to spend the rest of her days with me. She said yes, she is sure. I asked her if she needs time alone to forgive me for what I did. She said that is it. I ask her if she will come back to me. She says she will. She says to wait for her.

Should I wait? I have been crying non-stop for her for over two weeks and every day gets harder, not easier. In moments of desperation, I call or email and she always says she loves me. I know through her brother-in-law that she has been lying and seeing J. when she claims to be alone.

I love her and want nothing more than a meaningful, fulfilling relationship with her. Have I lost her because of what I did? Can I get her back? Should I?

I built my life around her and have no one to talk to. I don't want to get over her. I love her.

Help please.

[Junket]

Wow man. That's all intense stuff.

Looks like this girl isn't going to change her ways, I would say stop waitin' for her. She lied to you how many times?

I would think however, that your situation with your ex-girlfriend surely didn't help anything, but none of that matters now. It seems any relationship you'll have with this girl will be very unstable. I would say move on dude. Focus your attention on getting yourself back up on your feet, not to mention on your kid(s) as well.

You might not want to get over her.

But for your own sake, you should.

EDIT: I'd just like to thank you on your good spelling/grammar as well as seperating your paragraphs. It makes it easier for us to read and help you.

[Steve2004]

yes, i most definitely agree with Frasbee.

I want to kill her just hearing your story...which isn't good. D: She seems like an attention whore. You dont have to put up with shit from her only when she's lonely and not seeing "J". that's bullshit. also agreed that you need to start focusing on your life now, get more people to talk to...and dont forget the kiddy!

[ManInTheMirror]

I think you should read these books, its called "Man and Boy" and "Man and wife" , both by Tony Parsons, for the later part of your story. You wrote that you built a life around her. Well, what I think you should do have done and what you should do now is build your life around your daughter.

Dude, you have a daughter. Have mercy for her, don't let her get trap in the shet that you brought upon yourself. Spare her the complication of your adult life. You want to feel better? Think about your daughter, not you nor your love life for God's sake. You are a father now, you can't afford to screw around anymore, you have a responsibility to your daughter, honor that, be a man.

You might not be able to forget her for the next few months or years but is that your main concern? to forget her, get someone new, and repeat the whole shet again and let you daughter think that marriage is just another trivial affair.

REMEMBER, YOU ARE A FATHER !
Pray to God always

[Only-virgins]

Wtf!!!!!!!!!!!!