I really don't know what to do...

[girl777]

Hey, I'm a girl, 22 years old, and I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 months now.
We met in a club and it was love at first sight. From that moment on, we've never been apart for more than 2 or 3 days. The first 2 months, we saw each other a lot, and in this period he still had a lot of problems with money, his family... I supported him and helped him through all that. Then when he was kicked out of his father's house because they don't get along, he had to move to his mother. But his mother never really cared about him. So it was really hard for him. I wanted to be there for him and help him with everything. So I moved to his mother's house with him. I helped him clean, cook, do the groceries. I was always there for him. Everything went really well between us. But almost a week ago, we decided that I would move back home. Because it was hard for my parents that I just left. And because I wanted to start an education. We talked and he said that this would be good for us. That I didn't have to worry about nothing. That he loves me with all my heart and that he will never let me go. That we would spend the weekends together. That everything would turn out great between us.
At first he sent me messages about how much he missed me, that it was hard without me. That I have to realize how much he really cares about me and loves me. But he has to work a lot! And I almost didn't hear about him the last few days. Then in the weekend, when we were supposed to be together, he said he couldn't be with me because he was too tired and wanted to sleep early.. and that he had to work on saturday. He said we were going to meet on saturday.. When saturday was there, he didn't want to meet again. So I really began to worry. I almost didn't here from him.
Sunday morning he sent me a message. That he went out on friday night, didn't sleep and then got straight to work. And that he was so tired on saturday that he almost directly fell asleep. He also sent me that he still loved me, but he needs time for himself. He said that he has to work so much, that he wants to be free. That he hopes I understand that. Then I sent a sweet understanding text message, but I didn't hear from him again for hours. Then in the evening he texted me that he went to the beach in another country so he couldn't text me. That he loves me with all his heart but needs time alone. I sent him back, but again didn't hear from him anymore. I'm so scared.. I don't know what this means! Everything went so well between us. Now he just wants to be alone, I hear almost nothing from him. When he texts me he says me that he loves me, but I don't know ...
Can anyone help me? I'm feeling really really said. Been crying all day.
Is it normal for a boy to act like that when he loves you. It feels like he doesn't miss me at all. Like he's letting me go! Please someone help me . I'm devastaded!

[Wakeup]

Now he just wants to be alone,

He doesn't want to be alone, he just doens't want to be with you. Afterall, he went out all night after working all day ~ surely you don't believe he was alone all that time? Then, he went to the beach where there would have been hundreds of people around.

Break up with him. Tell him that you don't have time to listen to the bullshit messages of someone who doesn't have time for you. Then go no contact. If you can take back the power seat you'll feel more in control and you'll fair better going through the grieving process. Even if he's treating you with indifference and uncaring in the hopes that you will break up with him, at least by doing it yourself (instead of waiting for him to do it or keep you hanging while he tests out other waters) you'll, as I said be in control of your own decisions and not have them forced on you.

[Cerby]

4 months, this number seems to come up a lot.

The problem here is that you way over did it early on. There was no escalation in the relationship, its been 4 months and you've already lived together AND moved apart. In the first 4 months of normal relationships you should be more focused on yourself and let feelings develop. Forcing them (which happened here) doesn't work, someone burns out and needs space.

I've seen people change heart like this before, I've even done it myself. Woken up one morning thinking "I am done with this" and waffled for a few days, then ended it. I'm not saying you and him are done, but I seriously think you should consider giving him some space, and not clinging on when he wants to spend some time alone. You're early 20s, he likely still wants to go out Friday nights with his buddies once in a while. Some weekends he might want to do "his" things, whatever they are.

[smackie9]

Life has changed so much for him that a relationship is not suitable for his lifestyle anymore, and possibly realizes that he jumped the gun on the feelings and doesn't feel the same way as you do. Sorry but he is just letting you down easy and the others are right you should just let him go. I doubt very highly things will ever go back to the way they were. Personally I don't think he has been honest with you at all because he knows how much it is going to hurt you.

If you want answers, you are going to have to confront him and (calmly) ask him be to honest with you if he wants to continue this relationship.....it's the only way. Don't beg or cry at him, he will just feed you more BS to avoid the truth.

[GJtoi]

If he wanted to spend time with you, he would have during his free time.

[Esther20]

If he wanted to spend time with you, he would have during his free time.

[girl777]

Well I talked to people about this.. And they said that i should dump him.. I already deleted his pictures and his messages, his number from my phone...
But then, last night, he texted me. He sent me that he's thankful that I gave him his time alone. That he really misses me and our moments together. That he loves me with all his heart. That he wants to come over after work this week.. He asked me how I am, what I did. He told me what he did. That I'm his babygirl and that he loves me so much... His message was really sweet and he seemed to be very interested in how I was and how I felt.

I'm confused???
What does this mean?

[Wakeup]

... are you for real?

[girl777]

Yes... What do you mean?

[girl777]

What I didn't mention either... Last Sunday he cried for me... He said I was only the second girl that he cried for. That I had to realize that he really loved me sooo much.
I might sound stupid or naive. But I still love him so much. I'm not clingy or nothing. I'm just gonna wait and see now...
But I'm not ready to let go.
There's still a little voice in me that just thinks: maybe 2 months together, every single day, was just too much for him. Maybe he just wanted to be without me and with friends for one weekend. Maybe he just wants to take it slow again... I don't know.
What I also didn't mention. When we lived together it was in his mother's house. But we lived 2 months, every single day, in one room... We did everything together, every single day. He had no time at all to be alone with his friends. He did everything with me and for me... Every day.
There's still a part of me that wants to see the good. That wants to think that it was just too much for him, that he needed time alone with friends. But that he still loves me?
I really don't know.
What also keeps me doubting: Last Tuesday, he almost cried for me again. He said how much he was going to miss me. How much he really loved me. But that living together everyday in one room was not good for us. That we had to take some time apart to make things better between us. That I had to spend some time with my girlfriends, do what I used to do before we were together. Do what makes me happy. That I mean the world to him. That he doesn't want anyone else. That he would never let me go. That he wanted a future together. That he wants me to move in with him when he has his own place... He said that everything would be ok. That he would never let me go and that we would always be together. That I will always be his girl. That he wouldn't ever let me go... And so much more. I keep thinking about that.

I keep thinking about all the things he said to me, about his tears, about how he said that some time apart would only make our relationship better.
I can't get that out of my mind :s

Should I really dump him right now while I'm still doubting? While I still love him with all my heart? What if I make the biggest mistake in my life?

[girl777]

Someone who can give me some advice??

[oldskool83]

your emtions are being rollercoastered. Your 22 also. I think its time to just say you dont want to be treated like you are and its best if the stress of the reationship is over. love is a strong word as i do beleive in it but nothing that would cause this much trouble and pain after 4 months. I dont feel this is a healthy relationship for either of you. I am stressed already after reading this replys.

[smackie9]

Well if you want to see if his words are true then so be it. Maybe you are just jumping the gun here and reading negatively into this....and well it could be all for nothing. You are just upset with the changes and maybe you both do need a break from each other......talk to him when you see him, and let him know how you feel.

We don't know him so we can't really say he is just saying BS to you to pasify you or not.