dumped but now I'm getting confusing signs.

[nichhamilton]

okay so about a week ago i was dumped for being too clingy. admittedly i was but i tend to equate love for sex early on when it is in the relationship. i told her that and she believed me but still dumped me.

So two days go by with NC on the third day I see her at the beach and have a brief chat for like 30 min everything seemed normal. on the 4th day, I see her again at the beach and she sat with me and my friends and talk to me mostly for about 2 hours while we were there.

the 5th day her friend txts me which i am pretty good friends with asking me to come to the beach with her and my ex. i said yea but asked if my ex knew and was okay with me there and stuff. she told me yes she enjoys your company. so I txt my ex about meeting up at the beach and she seemed cool and excited about it. while she was at the beach with her friends she was texting me and asking questions like where am i and when will i arrive so what I'm getting at here is she seemed excited.

here is where things get interesting. so that night she graduated and i went which she seemed very happy to see me there. me my ex and her 2 friends were gonna hangout later that night. so she had to go eat dinner and it took awhile so by the time she got to where we were meeting at her friends had to leave. i asked if she knew her friends were gonna leave and she said yes. well keep in mind she had to drive 30 minutes also to come see me. so this is where It meant something to me. so her friend left and we just hungout and talked in a really chill spot for about a hour and half till she had to leave bc she has a curfew. the thing that gets me here is she went out of her way to see me and also missed out on a party she could've been at instead of seeing me. the party was even right down the street from where she was eating at yet she still drove 30 mins out of her way to see me. well i told her bye and she said she had a nice relaxing time. Now she just went on a cruise for a week and we planned on going kayaking when she gets back.

so what is going on here someone please tell me.

[iamaninnocentma]

kayaking is just like canoeing. i think. one of the more experienced posters might confirm this.

[smackie9]

Being less available makes you more attractive. This is what is needed to stop them from feeling so smothered. Just play it kool for a bit longer and see if she wants to get physical with you (kiss you or hold hands etc.).....be careful tho, you may have been friend zoned.....so don't end up being her lacky until she meets someone new.

[KristenElaine]

be upfront with her. Ask her where she stand. Either she sees you as a friend now, or does still see more with you. Either way, you need to know so you can stop driving yourself nuts thinking about it. Really think hard about what you want, and go from there

[blacksheepat]

actually i dont understand why the friend zone thing is so huge on this board.

friends can become lovers and lovers can become friends, they are not exclusive to one another.

Do men really have such low self esteem nowadays that they decide to manipulate the circumstances of the meeting to capture the girls attention?

[iamaninnocentma]

A "friend zone" is a place that an ugly dude has to travel through if he wants to pump a broad thats way out of his league. Men with average looks generally dont get access to top talent unless they are A.rich B. A musician C.have a big wanger(hard to prove) or D. live in the friend zone until said ladies self esteem has dropped enough for her to consider dropping her standards. I personally have used all 4 tactics to nail some crackers. high five me.

[Esther20]

Thanks for your post

[smackie9]

A "friend zone" is a place that an ugly dude has to travel through if he wants to pump a broad thats way out of his league. Men with average looks generally dont get access to top talent unless they are A.rich B. A musician C.have a big wanger(hard to prove) or D. live in the friend zone until said ladies self esteem has dropped enough for her to consider dropping her standards. I personally have used all 4 tactics to nail some crackers. high five me.

High five'n ya! lol

[smackie9]

Actually both sexes find different ways to manipulate the situation to go in their favor. Some tactics are negative but most is all about using psychology to their advantage. Learning about human behavior and how the male/female brain works, you will be more successful than those who sit and wait for nature to take it's course. The push and pull method is the most common. A counselor even told me that "being undesirable, will make you desirable". This works best on women tho. It fires off dopamine in their brain. Unfortunately this is one of the key factors in women who keep going back to an abusive spouse. Anyways "the friends zone" and not understanding it is the reason why the boards are loaded with posts about it. That is why we are here.....to teach people how to identify it and to stay out of it.

[Wakeup]

actually i dont understand why the friend zone thing is so huge on this board.

friends can become lovers and lovers can become friends, they are not exclusive to one another.

Do men really have such low self esteem nowadays that they decide to manipulate the circumstances of the meeting to capture the girls attention?

Read this blacksheepat: [url]http://www.laddertheory.com/[/url]

You need some edgumacatin.

[smackie9]

Or the relationship ladder....it's a reduced version.