Contacted him, feel so bad

[cast no shadow]

What the hell was I thinking?

I was doing so good, almost moved on, and than I though "why don't send him a mail".
I told him I'm flying this summer to a place close by to him, and asked him to come visit.
He said he might (though he probably will not),

But just contacting him again, after two month, brought me backwards in a way I didn't thought possible.
Now I'm back to crying all the time, feeling depressed,
What the HELL WAS I THINKING?!

When will it finally be over?!

[misombra]

go back to no contact. count that as a lesson and move on. he's not interested.

[JasonSA]

Thanks for your post

[haxan]

Don't beat yourself up over it, very few people ever go NC, they beat it to death before letting go. Just try your best to move forward.

[cast no shadow]

I know, I know he's not interested and that there is no way that we will back together,
but I can't really feel that, you know? It's like I always have this hope even though I know it's impossible.

I was doing well, but now I'm back to not believing that someday I'll be over him.
I'm so scared to feel this way forever