getting back together or not

[plato]

Me and my girlfriend have been on and off for 4 months. I've broken up with her two times before. The reason for doing what I have done is because she will see me and can't get enough of me - the next time I see her she'll be cold and moody and treat me like I'm the doormat. I'm nuts about her, but I felt that I can't live with this behaviour.

Normally I will be so shocked that I really don't know what to say or do in these kinds of situations. I've talked to her about this numerious times and asked her what have I done to deserve this and she says she does not realize that she is doing it. At one time she said that she thinks that she might have a split personality. It's like she's all lovingly one day and really cold the other. I know I'm not imagining things.

The last time I've broken up with her, I told her exactly why I did that and I had no intention to hurt her, but her episodes hurt me really badly and that I can't live with that kind of thing because it really gets to me emotionally. If some one is special to you then you don't treat them like a dog if you just feel like it.

This is now the second time I've broken up with her about this kind of thing. I have talked to her about this kind of thing again and again before and told her that she is totally disrespecting me and that I won't stand for that. When I broke up with her she was devastated. (really hurt) She wants me back and I want her back too. I'm just scared this is going to end in the same way it did the last time again. She promised that she will work on this. I also said that I might have been sensitive about some things which maybe I've been but in a relationship the one should at the very least treat the other civil when the other has done no harm.

I don't know what to do to solve this kind of thing because I don't want to hurt her again by breaking up with her again. I love her but it's really hurtfull to have some one that you care for put a knife in your back (feels like it) by being very cold and treating you like a dog for no apparent reason. Anybody have any insights? (I always asked her what have I done to deserve this kind of thing and she made it clear that it was not me)

[C1d6OC]

If you're unhappy in this relationship, then you will be getting back with her for the wrong reasons. You have already broken up with her twice and yet she still doesn't get the hint. If that's the case, things won't change. I know you love her, but I also know that you know what to do, it's just a matter of doing it.

It's best to take care of yourself, because you can't make yourself happy in this relationship no matter how much you love this girl. If things haven't changed, then you need to do what's best for you and move on. It will hurt at first, but at least you will be better off in the end, because you won't have to deal with it anymore.

Cdoc

[cycletease]

I wish I could tell you that loving someone would make a relationship with them work. Sadly, sometimes no matter how much you care you cannot make things work.

It sounds like your girl has some issues, whether they be emotional or just simple maturity issues I cannot say. Either way, though, her behavior is making your relationship unhealthy. Your instincts were correct, you should end it with her.

If you had any doubt, getting back together with her and having her behave the same way shows you that it is very unlikely to change. There is nothing more you can do on your end to change things and I think you will be much better off to walk away now than to continue beating your head against this cement wall.

[plato]

It's almost been 2 weeks since I have'nt seen her and I feel like crap every day and basically have to force myself not to phone her or conjuring up some scheme to see her. (your subconscious does strange things in these situations) I'm feeling guilty as hell because I hurt her even if I remind myself that it's for the best. Anybody have any advice on getting over this?

[abercromqt20]

honestly i think you are doing the right thing by not phoning her. i highly recommend you not getting back together. i know you may like her alot, but sometimes i think you have to look at things realistically. or how other people would look at things. you have that oppurtunity now since you're not together. you deserve to be with someone who feels and treats you how you treat them. i know that nobody is perfect, but how many times do u really have to talk to this girl about her actions and her still not get her act straight?!? you don't deserve that. i think it's better that you get out now, than a year or two down the line when you are even more invested in the relationship. my advice is to keep doing what you are doing, stay busy.... and sooner or later everything will get better.