I'm really having trouble on my feelings lately. i have this very close male friend. we have been duty mates for almost a year. he is handsome, mysterious, secretive, skillful, and smart. i like him so much and i dont want to lose him. i think im having man crush on him. and i know its so gay to have man cursh. there is this one time, i get drunk in front of my friends, he was there along with his Girlfriend. I accidentally blurted that i have a crush on him. i said sill things like let me hug you. i can recall that he was just laughing at me. he texted me that he was angry with me because im hiding this secret from him. but the next day, he was so kind to me and was just making fun of what i did. that really gave the relief.

however, i want this man crush of mine to stop. i dont like it. my feelings for him was just so sudden. i felt this way just right after we went for a vacation where we cuddled each other every night. he was so bossy and im such jerk and follow him around and he always want me to go with him. that is why stopping this feeling is so difficult for me. i want to stop this feeling without ruining our friendship. i want to be his friend forever.