i left my wife after 12 years (we have 2 children together). this is my story i will keep it as short as possible. when i met her she was married and she left him after a few non sexual meetings with me. after 2 years of being married to me (3 years together) she had a quickie in a car park with a guy she told me about it the same day told me she loved him (he didnt want her). we gave the marriage another go. about 2 years later she moved out and went to stay with another bloke. she came back a week later (yes i was an idiot back then). the next time was at about year 8 of the marriage. she had spent a week travelling to see a guy on a daily basis for sex it lasted a week and i was all packed to leave but she begged me to stay and i did. ok final bit now. the last one went on for about 3 years only sex once (so she said) i moved out and she begged me to come back did all the i will kill myself rubbish so i went back. as far as i was/am concerned the marriage was over by then and i used to look (not touch) else where. the same guy would drift in and out and in the end i came clean and told her i didnt want her and that she should date the other guy. (the truth is i had joined a chat room and had been talking to someone. i had fallen in love with this woman even tho i had never met her) anyway i moved out and started my new life as a single man. (the chat site was not a dating site and the lady had no idea i had feelings for her). my wife started seeing the guy she had been sneaking around with and then everything went wrong. i met the lady i had been talking to and instantly knew that the feelings i had where real by the second date i had quit smoking (smoked for 20 years) and told her how i felt. she said she had feelings for me but didnt know how strong they where. (we didnt have a sexual relationship at this point) this is the point that everything went wrong. the wife told me that she still loved me and her boyfriend died all in the same day.shes now on depression pills. i hadnt told her about my new life and now i dont know what to do. she knows i dont want her. but she will go loopy if she knows i have someone else. what do i do i dont want to sneak around and my girlfriend loves me and wants me to move in (i want to move in) (i was totally faithfull the whole marriage) any suggestions/do i tell her straight?