Friend zone?

[matt0680]

Hi there!. Im matt, 21 from the uk. During the early days in Jan 2012 i met this brilliant girl called jo (20). We met on facebook and had an instant connection, ive not come across anything like it before tbh. Even after a few hours of knowing her she started flirting with me on our IM chats, at the time i was only looking for friendship in general but she won my heart pretty quickly lol.

Everything was great,So much flirting! I must have got daily facebook comments from her and romantic morning texts, she hinted many times that she wanted to be my girlfriend. In March i decided to finally ask her to visit (she only lives about 20mins away). I didnt want to ask her to quickly as i have never met anyone from the internet before, i didnt know what to expect. I wanted to use this opportunity to get to know her more in person, she stayed around for the afternoon watching tv and i made her a meal, it went great i thought we really hit it off. I hugged her x2 during, i thought it might have been innopropiate to do anything more as it was our very first meet up. Bless, she didnt want to leave in the end and wanted to make plans straight away, but it was hard to as we were both so busy with work all the time.

For another 2 weeks she was mentioning how she had such a great time with me, but then i woke up one morning, no good morning text from her, i decided it was nothing in the end, i dont expect it all the time anyways. But for 2 weeks she stoped texting as much, no facebook posts, didnt seem herself atall.

It took me 2 weeks to ask her if everything was ok, (i didnt want to jump to conclusions) and she said 'Yea, im either tired or busy at work, still be my friend though?'
Obviously as you can imagine i was thinking, 'friends...? we were so much more than that!' i got a little angry at her and just left the convo. A few days later i just accepted it and told her i was ok with it. (Only way for us to stay in contact really). I know somewhere she still likes me really.


Last week i passed my driving test! whoop, she wished me good luck and must have said well done like x3, i think that sparked a bit of interest.

Since then she has been contacting me a bit more and that leads us up to yesterday. she contacted me on facebook chatting in general and said 'Your popular on facebook arnt you, got a few girls posting ' I was thinking..where did that come from, maybe its some sort of hint of maybe jealously? im not sure
The thing is i would really love her back, shes an amazing girl and we get along really well. What sort of things can i do to get her back appart from flirting a bit?

Many thanks! Matt

[Cerby]

Man, you need to grow a pair on this one. The opportunity expired, you invited her to hang out, she had a great time, the hard work was done.

From here you had at most 5 days to set another date to confirm your interest, instead you went with the route of do nothing for 2 weeks. Nothing could show LESS interest than having a first "date" and then no following up at all. She clearly was pushing you to ask her to see you again. After 2 weeks she probably assumed you weren't interested, or found someone who was interested in her that she could give attention to. So tbh, you kind of dropped this one on your own. The signals were there.

Here is what you do (this requires some balls, but confidence is attractive). Call her (don't text her), and just ask her how she is doing, then insert a line similar to the following:

"Hey listen, I owe you an apology, we clearly had some spark here and I was too blind to act on it. Why don't I take you out for dinner this Friday?"

Its not cocky, but its confident. It doesn't need to be those words, whatever works for the dynamic you have, but something along those lines.

[bulrush]

After you made her dinner and watched TV together, you could have contacted her but you didn't. That boat has sailed. Better luck next time. Now you two are just friends.

[TeeJay19]

Yup, what were you waiting for after that first meeting. I know you mentioned you were both busy but you should have at least tried to get together. At least that would have shown her you're interested. If you want to have any shot with this girl do what Cerby said. Stop with the email/text tag and start seeing her in person, because what you're doing now isn't going to lead anywhere.

[Boisdevie]

If you're interested there's no reason why you can't even talk about a second date towards the end of the first date. Life is too short to waste any time. But as usual Cerby makes a very good point.

[smackie9]

You flirted for months and that is all you did for the first date? She was expecting way more from you! You should have been lusting after her, and gave her passionate kisses...that is why she didn't want to leave because she was waitng for you to get off your ass and kiss her. But instead you came off like a wet blanket and I'm sure it had really dissappointed her big time. Everyone is right on this board....you need to be more assertive in expressing your interest....the key is confidence and letting her know she is desired...girls want to be desired! They live for that shit......

[caligirl23]

Man, you need to grow a pair on this one. The opportunity expired, you invited her to hang out, she had a great time, the hard work was done.

From here you had at most 5 days to set another date to confirm your interest, instead you went with the route of do nothing for 2 weeks. Nothing could show LESS interest than having a first "date" and then no following up at all. She clearly was pushing you to ask her to see you again. After 2 weeks she probably assumed you weren't interested, or found someone who was interested in her that she could give attention to. So tbh, you kind of dropped this one on your own. The signals were there.

Here is what you do (this requires some balls, but confidence is attractive). Call her (don't text her), and just ask her how she is doing, then insert a line similar to the following:

"Hey listen, I owe you an apology, we clearly had some spark here and I was too blind to act on it. Why don't I take you out for dinner this Friday?"

Its not cocky, but its confident. It doesn't need to be those words, whatever works for the dynamic you have, but something along those lines.

This is brilliant advice!