I'm on a break

[Andreww]

Hello, I also posted this in another thread but I saw this one had lots of viewers currently online, sorry for double posting but I need an answer now because I'm going crazy.

So me and my girlfriend have been together for over a 10 months and I know I did some mistakes and I've been a little too possessive.
A few days ago we had a long talk on the phone and it resulted in her wanting a break. She said that the feelings are still there, we didn't have a fight or something to make her think of a break-up. But she said that I'm not confident and I don't trust myself. She said that she wants a one week break with no contact because from the time we were together until now she changed herself a bit for me, her parents and her friends and she said that on the way she somehow lost her true self and she wants to see how she was before and to regain her personality. She said that she's tired of me seeing my mistakes only after making them repeatedly and that this is upsetting her. And she said that I'm the only person in her life that helps her and really cares for her and sees her true self and what she diserves because others see her really different.

About 3 weeks ago it was my birthday and I told a friend of mine to pick her up because she didn't want to come alone, I had to be on my birthday a few hours before her for preparations. Since then they started hanging out and it bothers me because I know he likes her and he wants to steal her away from me and I told her that and she said that she can handle it on her own. Also I've been overly gelous because of this and I got somehow upset.

She also said that I get upset really easy and that I shouldn't act like this with my problems. Today a friend of mine said that he saw them both going out and she even checked in on FB that she's with him. She said the break is not for us to see other people, it is only for her to regain her true self and she even told me she's not going to find a prince charming in just one week. She said that we should be one week apart in order to work our problems out and to think about some things in our lives. I told her I don't like breaks and I don't want to see her in one week and to get back together like "being again in a relationship after being single" and she told me it's not like that because we're not breaking up and it's not because we don't love eachother anymore and if she would have wanted a break-up, it would have been done already.

Also she said that she worked really hard on this relationship and I know we shared a lot of things until now and we love eachother really much.
I'm really worried about this break though because If I heard she kissed this guy (or the other way around) I would die and I don't want her to use the excuse that we were on a break ... But she said that this break is not for meeting new people. Damn I'm so confused.

So what I am asking is... what do you think about this guy and I know I've been a little gelous and she told me I suffocate her, but I don't know, how should I act when I see her after the break, what should I ask her, I trust her completely but I really need another oppinion about this because my mind is all over the place and I need to understand even a little bit what she's thinking. Also, should I get worried about them going out?

PS: another friend just saw them leaving the place where they went out and they only stayed there for about 35-40 minutes. She never stays this short when going out unless she's completely bored or really annoyed. Good sign?
Help me please. ty

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You are a pussy.

Call her and tell her that you want to break up. Tell her that if she decides she wants to get back together, to give you a call, but you're going to look for other girls. This will show her that you aren't so clingy and dependent, and she'll probably come back within a couple days. Like I said, you're a pussy, so I don't expect you to be able to go through with this. Good luck.

[Cerby]

Well, there is good news and bad news.

The good news is that she is still reassuring you that its not over, so she might actually still be interested.

The bad news, well...
I've seen this kind of action before, both in a past relationship of mine and in friends as well. When someone "breaks" or disengages from the relationship, it usually means that they aren't happy being with that person/relationship. When this happens in less than a year of being together, it usually means the end is right there. I've personally never seen a relationship fully recover from a break, but I have also seen some break-ups that lasted a while end up back together for the long term.

I'm not sure what I can tell you, she might be interested in your friend, or maybe just need someone to talk to. What kind of friend would continue to hang out with her knowing you two are struggling? A crappy friend, that's who.

[Andreww]

I'm not a pussy, I love this girl. I'm just trying to understand what's going on at the moment. I admit that I am clingy and dependent but that doesn't make me a pussy. Any other advices ?

[Andreww]

I know he's a crappy friend and I've lost all my respect to him, what do you think I should talk to her when we get together?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

She just started hanging out with your friend, and now she wants a break...dude she's ****ing him, or at least she wants to. You accept this. You are the definition of a pussy. The poster child. The epitome.

[Andreww]

I think she hangs out with him because she doesn't have any girlfriends, I mean she has one but they don't talk too often because they are different... She told me that she would never cheat on me and I believe her because she never gave me any reason to not trust her.

[searock]

I'm a girl, and I agree with what the posters before me have said: she has at least an emotional affair with your "friend", and it's about to get physical. I think you should do what BackUp said, perhaps first call her and ask her if she wants to interrupt the "break". If she says no, then tell her you want to break up with her. If she wants you, she'll come back to you.

[Boisdevie]

I think she hangs out with him because she doesn't have any girlfriends

Dude, are you really this stupid? In London they're having the Olympics quite soon. If self delusion is one of the sports then you'll definitely win gold. If she ****ed the guy in front of you would you then suspect that things weren't quite right?