Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we are both 19. Last month we got in an argument over a text which resulted in him saying our relationship was over. He told me that he didn't love me anymore which obviously hurt but I didn't understand because it came out of nowhere and he had seemed fine up until then :/ I told him that if he wanted to break up with me then I deserve to hear it to my face. He agreed to this but he kept putting it off until a week later. I found out that he had been playing a game online where he had met a girl from another country. They had become friends on skype and whilst me and him were together, they only acted as friends. However, the week I spent in complete confusion (from when he text me it was over until he said it to my face) he was getting more friendly with this foreign girl and they started sending intimate messages to eachother and she sent him rude pictures of herself.
After we broke up properly and he had told me all about the other girl, we went our together, like shopping and to the cinema. He continued to act like my boyfriend and we kissed and held hands. I didn't want to stop it because I wanted it so badly and I could tell he wanted it deep down too but he said he still didn't love me.
He admitted that he was confused himself which only made me hold on tighter. We have been together a while and something told me not to give up on our relationship.
A couple of weeks later (still acting close) I asked him if we could be together again and see if he felt something for me again. He agreed but said he might not ever love me again and that when we were still together, he had emotionally 'forgotten about me'.
A week or so later, he admitted that when we were together and did stuff together, he felt things for me which he thought he had lost. And now he says he loves me again
Although I longed to hear them three words from him so badly, I had already felt so much pain, anger, confusion and upset. I can honestly say that I was heart-broken and my heart ached and cried for him The whole thing effected me massively, I had stopped eating, didn't sleep and cried all day, everyday.
I want to know if holding on was the right thing to do because now we are back together but I still feel so hurt I don't think he could of stopped loving me completely because love doesn't disappear like that and he still acted the same. He also 'fell back in love' with me quite quickly too. I partially blame his game and the girl he met for possibly distracting him from his 'real life', because relationships are never easy!
He is completely fine and happy with me now which is nice to see but I'm finding it hard to forget and still cry about it So now I ask myself whether I should tell him I can't do it all anymore or continue to fight for a relationship I won back