I've had a boyfriend for almost 4 years but my parents did not allow our relationship because they wanted me to first graduate my college. we were together when i was still in high school. i loved him very much, he was my first boyfriend. we kept our relationship a secret and we had difficulty in hiding it because our worlds are very small, we have plenty of mutual friends.
when i entered college, my parents found out our relationship and broke it off. they grounded me, they punished me for almost a year, but i had ways to communicate with him. until i was having a hard time keeping it, i broke it off because it caused too much stress for me and i don't want to disappoint my parents.
i have a bestfriend who is my classmate in college and i found out he liked me very much and we started dating, after 3 months, my ex found out and was disappointed with me because he told me he'll wait for me until i graduated my college, if the reason for my breakup was because of my parents why would i enter into another relationship, so i felt guilty and broke it off with my bestfriend. it was difficult, i had feelings for both of them, and they were very strong.
after a couple of months, my ex and i were together again, but it wasn't long that my parents found out again and told me that i should never be with my ex because he didn't wait until i graduated and now i am being punished for that. and now, even though i broke it off with my bestfriend, he always talks to me at class, he says that he loves me and i can see he's sincere. he's happy with what we have.

now, i'm confused on what to do. maybe my ex and i aren't meant to be because we are always getting caught. maybe my bestfriend is the one for me, on the other hand, i feel guilty. i don't want to mess with their feelings because i am confused with my own. next year i will be graduating my college and what if both of them confess their feelings again, they both told me that they will wait for me and they love me very much. i don't want to hurt them because they are both important. i don't know what to do.