Heartbroken :(

[Stupid In Love]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we are both 19. Last month we got in an argument over a text which resulted in him saying our relationship was over. He told me that he didn't love me anymore which obviously hurt but I didn't understand because it came out of nowhere and he had seemed fine up until then :/ I told him that if he wanted to break up with me then I deserve to hear it to my face. He agreed to this but he kept putting it off until a week later. I found out that he had been playing a game online where he had met a girl from another country. They had become friends on skype and whilst me and him were together, they only acted as friends. However, the week I spent in complete confusion (from when he text me it was over until he said it to my face) he was getting more friendly with this foreign girl and they started sending intimate messages to eachother and she sent him rude pictures of herself.
After we broke up properly and he had told me all about the other girl, we went our together, like shopping and to the cinema. He continued to act like my boyfriend and we kissed and held hands. I didn't want to stop it because I wanted it so badly and I could tell he wanted it deep down too but he said he still didn't love me.
He admitted that he was confused himself which only made me hold on tighter. We have been together a while and something told me not to give up on our relationship.
A couple of weeks later (still acting close) I asked him if we could be together again and see if he felt something for me again. He agreed but said he might not ever love me again and that when we were still together, he had emotionally 'forgotten about me'.

A week or so later, he admitted that when we were together and did stuff together, he felt things for me which he thought he had lost. And now he says he loves me again

Although I longed to hear them three words from him so badly, I had already felt so much pain, anger, confusion and upset. I can honestly say that I was heart-broken and my heart ached and cried for him The whole thing effected me massively, I had stopped eating, didn't sleep and cried all day, everyday.

I want to know if holding on was the right thing to do because now we are back together but I still feel so hurt I don't think he could of stopped loving me completely because love doesn't disappear like that and he still acted the same. He also 'fell back in love' with me quite quickly too. I partially blame his game and the girl he met for possibly distracting him from his 'real life', because relationships are never easy!
He is completely fine and happy with me now which is nice to see but I'm finding it hard to forget and still cry about it So now I ask myself whether I should tell him I can't do it all anymore or continue to fight for a relationship I won back

[Kyeema]

So now I ask myself whether I should tell him I can't do it all anymore or continue to fight for a relationship I won back

The only one who knows the answer to that question is you!


Perhaps finding answers to the following questions will help you answer the one above:
Will you ever feel safe with him again or will you always wonder when the next game and girl come along and he will forget about his love for you?
Will you ever be able to fully trust him again?
Will you always wonder what had happened had you not hold on so tightly to your relationship? Would he have come back to you on his own?
Do you want to be with someone who forgets about his love for you when he plays some stupid online game and meets a girl there?
Will this pain you feel now (despite being together with him again) ever go away or will looking at him always remind you of what he did?

Listen to your heart and trust your guts on this - I know you hurt, what he did to you shattered your world, 3 years together is a long time... but he is not the only guy in this world! So if you decide that this is not it for you, you will grieve and suffer for some time, but things will change and somebody else will come into your life soon...

Big hug
Kyeema

[Stupid In Love]

The only one who knows the answer to that question is you!


Perhaps finding answers to the following questions will help you answer the one above:
Will you ever feel safe with him again or will you always wonder when the next game and girl come along and he will forget about his love for you?
Will you ever be able to fully trust him again?
Will you always wonder what had happened had you not hold on so tightly to your relationship? Would he have come back to you on his own?
Do you want to be with someone who forgets about his love for you when he plays some stupid online game and meets a girl there?
Will this pain you feel now (despite being together with him again) ever go away or will looking at him always remind you of what he did?

Listen to your heart and trust your guts on this - I know you hurt, what he did to you shattered your world, 3 years together is a long time... but he is not the only guy in this world! So if you decide that this is not it for you, you will grieve and suffer for some time, but things will change and somebody else will come into your life soon...

Big hug
Kyeema

Thank you very much for your reply

Yes I do feel completely safe with him and I don't think he would do it again. At the time, we weren't at the best time of our relationship and he used playing games as a distraction :/ But unfortunately, this girl had distracted him too.
I am finding it difficult to trust him yes :/ But I believe we have something together.
Also, if I had let go, I think that he might have realised what he as losing

Yes I'm still hurting, but hopefully time will heal.
My head is telling me to leave, but my heart is telling me to stay I love him sooooo much and I find it hard to imagine my life without him. I know if I left, then in time I would find somebody else and be happy, but I'm not ready to be with someone else

Thanks again

[Kelvin69]

You r still young n there's a long way to go in your life..i guessed u got ur answer already by now and just want to hear some opinion from forumers..whats the meaning of love without trust? getting urself worry and angry? relationships are never easy but we hope for a healthy and happy relationships..

[Stupid In Love]

You r still young n there's a long way to go in your life..i guessed u got ur answer already by now and just want to hear some opinion from forumers..whats the meaning of love without trust? getting urself worry and angry? relationships are never easy but we hope for a healthy and happy relationships..

Yes it's good to hear what others say
I don't think I've found my answer yet but these responses help me to realise

Yeah relationships are not easy :/ and I suppose there isn't much of a relationship if there is a lack of trust. But I want to be with him and although I get upset and angry, I can't let go

Thank you

[shoo]

Don't blame the game he played. Each and everyday he can encounter girls that will make you feel down and insecure. But when you are sure of your love and trust for each other, there is always room for second chances. It's up to you whether you will give him that chance to make or to break you. You started that relationship at a young age, you have a lot of time to grow. Don't keep yourselves in a box. You might be hurting more than you realize.

Relationships go through many trials, use those trials in order for the both of you to grow individually and together.
If he's the one for you, in the end you will be together.