Advice from men and women appreciated

[zerokool189]

I have been with my girlfriend for about a year now. We are madly in love and get a long great. We are also 3 years apart, she is 31. We have talked about marriage and she has expressed to me that she would like to be married soon (possibly engaged this year.) I felt ok with everything until one day when I mentioned that I don't know if I want children. I didn't say I did or did not want, I simply said I don't know. She took it pretty seriously and said she thought she might be with the wrong person and I spent the rest of the day trying to change her mind. I also emphasized the fact that I don't know. Now, I do want to get married, but I don't know if I like having a the pressure of a deadline. I also don't know if I liked the way she reacted to my comment about not knowing about kids. I spoke to some older friends and they said it is absolutely ok to not know if you want kids. We get along so well, better than any other relationship I've been in. I do feel like I could marry this girl, maybe I met her too soon? Maybe our age difference is a bit of an issue. I could not imagine life with out her and I think she would be just as devastated if we ended the relationship. My question is, what do I do? I am afraid to bring up the subject of children, I don't want her to react the same way she previously did. I think that if I said something again she would want to end the relationship....

[iamaninnocentma]

yeah it sounds like she might be having an affair. Have a look through her phone and check her facebook for strange messages. You have to remeember a relationship is about caring and sharing, and giving and recieving. I dont see much of this here. Try joining a dating site or get a new hobby that women alsoo enjoy. I joined a beach vollyball class and its fckn brilliant.

[zerokool189]

did you read my post? I dont think at all that she is having an affair, she is just very certain about what she wants in life.

[warriormaiden]

Zero, don't take anything he said seriously.

What first hit me was...she sounds kinda selfish and neurotic. She sounds like she already has her future planned out (which is not in touch with reality) and doesn't really seem understand, or want to understand, your feelings on the subject. Saying she wants to be engaged within the year, is just waaaay too much pressure. You need to figure out what is best for you regarding nesting, before you make any life altering changes.

[iamaninnocentma]

yeah, dont take anything i say seriously. Who are you? oprah?

Ive seen enough of these situations to know whats really going on. Ive been reading between the lines of forum posts for years. I think i know my onions tyvm.

Its obvious shes met someone else and she is trying to cause a fight to give her a reason to leave. If the op looks deep in to his heart , he will see this. Come back and thank me in a month when he starts a new thread saying i was right.

[haxan]

She knows what she wants out of life, you're not sure. I've seen it end many relationships permanently. If she's a keeper, you better figure out what you want fast, or she'll find another guy with the same desire (family) and you'll be in the archives.

[surfhb]

She knows what she wants out of life, you're not sure. I've seen it end many relationships permanently. If she's a keeper, you better figure out what you want fast, or she'll find another guy with the same desire (family) and you'll be in the archives.

Yeah...this

She KNOWS what she wants and you DONT KNOW if you want. Its perfectly fine....its just that you guys do not belong together.

[HeartIsAching]

Unfortunately, this is a boundary issue. If she really wants children and you really don't, you're doomed from the get-go.

If as you say you don't know, how long is she supposed to sit around waiting for you to make up your mind? What happens if you decide you don't want children? I have no solution here, just pointing out how it stands.

I would not be surprised if she walked soon.