What to do next

[mackenzie-104]

So I had been with this guy for two years. Mostly, it was great. There were some rough patches though. He has made mistakes in the past and I have forgiven him. Recently, I made a mistake. I kind of got angry at him and yelled at him and went too far. Nothing like that has ever happened before and it was totally out of the ordinary for me. I went to the doctor a few days later and found out I had a hormonal imbalance from my birth control and the dr informed me that "controlling my emotions at that given moment" would have been very difficult. I've written him a letter of apology, taking full responsibility for what happened, but still informing him of my situation, and he never replied. Now him and his family (I was close to them) have basically blocked me completely out of their life and he hasn't even spoken to me since the incident happened. I'm having a really hard time forgiving myself because I don't want him or his family to view me poorly. I thought I treated him well, but he has informed his friends that he is "tired of me treating him like shit" and that I "dont deserve him or another man until I figure myself out". This has been really hard for me because 1. I feel guilty all the time now and 2. I have forgiven him for mistakes in the past. I don't see how its fair for the one time I slip up to never be spoken to again. We also share a similar "social circle" so having him hate me like he does is making weekend events more difficult. Any advice on what to do next?

[smackie9]

My gut tells me there is more to this story than you are leading us to believe.....we will never know because we won't hear his side. I think there have been issues long before this outburst....it's the straw that finally broke the camel's back. My advice to you is to give him his space. You already said your peace with him, so the ball is in his court now.

[mackenzie-104]

Trust me, I wish there was more to it. It would make it easier to move on. Yes I got mad, I slammed doors, and he didn't deserve it. But the night before I stayed the night and his exact words were that this was the "happiest he has been in the relationship." We hadn't even gotten in an argument in ages!
The fight started over talking about our "sexual" relationship and I think it was a sensitive subject to him and hes just really hurt and angry right now.

[smackie9]

Ohhhhh well this is the information needed. Crushing a man's sexual ego is not kool, it's down right destructive. Everything he ever thought about you, the trust and your relationship is now gone. I'm not even sure if this will ever be salvageable.

[Prime39]

Look, I'm a guy. If my girl insulted me about a sensitive subject like that I would be extremely hurt, and angry. I think the best thing you can do is send him an apology message, which ever way your most certain he will read. Text, email, or hand written, you know him best. Just make sure he reads it. In it apologize for what you said, tell him you didn't mean it. And tell him you love him and miss him and hope to hear from him when ever he's ready to talk. This way you come off as regretful, sensier, and not pushy. Time will hopefully heal his wounds, and he will call you. But you half to go no contact after the letter. No matter how long it takes! Trust me! I've been through similar situations, and this approach would work on me.

[smackie9]

Look, I'm a guy. If my girl insulted me about a sensitive subject like that I would be extremely hurt, and angry. I think the best thing you can do is send him an apology message, which ever way your most certain he will read. Text, email, or hand written, you know him best. Just make sure he reads it. In it apologize for what you said, tell him you didn't mean it. And tell him you love him and miss him and hope to hear from him when ever he's ready to talk. This way you come off as regretful, sensier, and not pushy. Time will hopefully heal his wounds, and he will call you. But you half to go no contact after the letter. No matter how long it takes! Trust me! I've been through similar situations, and this approach would work on me.

You need to read her post more thoroughly Prime39....she already did send a message apologizing and taking full responsibility for her poor behavior.......The issue is that he didn't respond to it and he is going around bad mouthing her, and his family has blocked all communication with her.....sad situation.