Please help ladies, trying to get out of the "friend zone"

[tnat21]

Yep, the dreaded friend zone, although maybe not the typical case b/c this isn't a friend that I am contact all the time with, but here's the deal:

She's been a friend of mine for about 5 or 6 years. 5 years ago when she had just gotten out of a relationship our group was all trying to set us up, and she wasn't having it, even cancelled on a double we were supposed to go on last minute. After that we ended up hanging out more, all with the group, even a couple make out sessions (we were both drunk though, so I know not to put anything into that). All friendly, never went anywhere else, but I always wanted more. Can't help why, but I just really, really liked this girl, and it made things real akward for a long time w/ our friendship after that.

Fast forward a while, and the akwardness ended and we hashed all those things out a while back too. We are cool, but don't really see all that much of each other anymore, only when the group gets together for things, and that just doesn't happen as often as it used to.

Lately, I had been in a new relationship that started great, then fizzled fast and I was just not feeling it anymore, too many issues to have so early on. Well, last week I emailed this friend and asked her if she'd want to meet up, that I needed a friend to talk to about some things I had going on, but I knew that part of me was also was hopeful about maybe trying again, just to see if something might possibly spark and if it would go anywhere, never know right? After the fact a buddy told me I made a big mistake there by playing it that way, which I now realize I probably did. I just figured after all the past stuff that if I emailed her to just meet up the two of us which we'd never really done before out of the blue, it wouldn't work. Oh well, can't change that now. But she agreed to meet up and we had dinner that night. We talked about what was going on with me for a bit, she kind of validated everything I was thinking that it was time to get out of that relationship, and that I just really seemed like I wasn't in it anymore and it didn't sound like it was going anywhere. But, we also talked about alot of other things that night, we really got to know each other better, and I just had a great time with her. I also found out that I really do just still have feelings for this girl. We did agree that night that we would get together and do this again. A couple days after I just sent a quick text letting her know I had a great time the other night and hoped she was having a good weekend. She replied right back that it was good to see me, and asked if I had hung out with the now ex-gf the night before. I told her that we were supposed to, but that I just was over it and blew that off. Then, no reply to that, and nothing from her since, and I'm sure she's also seen my facebook status change to single too, which is making me think that there's still no interest and that this is all still just friendly on her end.

I guess my question is what do you think, is that indeed the case that there's no chance? Or if there's any kind of possibility, what to do? Just play it cool and hope I eventually hear something, or try to take another shot myself? I really do know better than to put too much stock in this, and I really did not leave the other girl over the "hope" of this, that was b/c that relationship really just was going nowhere anyway. But at the same time I can't help how I feel, I'd love to be with this girl and if there's anything that looks like a potential possibility I have to try this one more time and do not want to make any mistakes. Please let me know.

[caligirl23]

Well, here is what I think...if I was in this position as this girl you like, I would think that you have a little bit going on right now and may not be ready for another crack at a relationship. It's just being considerate and not trying to push. So, what I mean is that this girl may very well be interested too, but talking about another girl makes her uncomfortable and perhaps a little unsure how to proceed. She might actually think that you truly want just friendship and nothing more and therefore is not looking into it any more than that. I say to hang out again and do NOT talk about this other girl. Talk about anything but that. Just because she sees "single" on FB and didn't reply doesn't mean anything and doesn't reveal her true feelings at all. I am not gonna blow smoke up your butt, she may not be interested too, but try to hang out at least two more times and see how it goes. Let your look at her linger, smile, sit close to her, and basically give some body language that you may be interested in more and then see how she reacts. It's either that little game or come right out and tell her how you feel, whichever one you feel more comfortable with.

[tnat21]

Thanks for the reply. What you say does make sense, but regardless of the FB status thing, I can't help but be bothered by the non response to my text telling her that I blew the other girl off that night because I was over it after she asked. That was Saturday and I've heard nothing since. That just doesn't seem good to me. Maybe I do need to just ask her to hang out again and get it over with, but I'm also thinking of trying to give it a little more time and see if I hear something from her. It would make this a hell of a lot easier if I did.