what should I do?

[Bmin7511]

Am I allowed to message a girl that I use to hang out with? She showed interest in me and I ended up asking her out. We were having a good time (went out about 4-5 times...she even asked me to stay over one night), then she said she would be busy with work stuff and couldn't hang out. She didn't msg me for a week and I was getting uspet because I thought she was avoiding me. I confronted her on the phone and told her that it was rude that she didn't even send a msg saying hi or something. Turned out she was really busy with friends and family stuff. She said that I was getting too attached and didn't want to pursue anything with me. I realized the error in my ways (she didn't owe me anything and I was the one being rude...and it felt like I didn't express myself properly) and when I applogized to her the next morning, she said it was her fault for not messaging, that she "may not" be ready for a relationship and said it may be best if we move on.

Its been about a month now..I have had no contact with her (I thought I would give her time and space). I wouldn't mind at least talking to her again (she is cool, we had somethings in common and we both felt an attraction to each other). If you were me, would you message her and say Hi (keep it very simple), or would you just drop it? Like I said earlier, I feel an attraction...but at the same time, I don't want to be pushy and she said she didn't want to pursue anything (I don't know if that's true or she just said that because I over-reacted). Maybe start over as friends and take it from there....

Thoughts please!

[AdminOnline]

why not?

no harm to stay in contact.

[marzipan.banana]

It wouldn't be totally unacceptable to initiate contact again. I'd ask her to do something casual as friends; then if she says yes, try to gauge her interest level on whether or not she might want something more.

[Bmin7511]

Thanks for advice.

I was thinking of saying something along the lines of..."Hi ...been awhile....thought I would say hello and see how u have been."

Also not too sure about the timing...should I do it in the evening or during the day when she's at work. I kinda thought during the day, that way there would be no pressure to respond right away if she is busy.

I figure this is probably my only shot at this...don't want to mess it up...

[oldskool83]

i look at things this way. no one is that busy they cant say hi or somthing. the busy of the busiest people have time and we carry our phone with is 24/7. if you want say hi somt thing quick, if she doesnt show interest leave it alone. if you have to ask more then 3 times to do somthing she is 100% no interested anymore.

[caligirl23]

I think your message would totally be appropriate. You gave her space and time and didn't play the "crazy card", so it should be fine. Sounds like you two had a miscommunication in the beginning and she did have an interest at some point, just maybe got spooked since you got upset. It's early, so just remember...you're never in the "safe zone" in the beginning. Everything you do will be scrutinized to a certain degree, even if she asks you to stay over. I say, contact her, keep it light, and if she doesn't respond, you have your answer. I would give it a day or two to hear back and then move on... Good luck!

[Bmin7511]

Well I did it! I sent her a simple text msg (Hi, hows it going. Hope all is well with you).

She did respond to that saying Hi, but havent heard from her since. Kinda sucks because I don't think she is interested anymore or may have met someone else, but Im glad now that I tried and I am somewhat more at ease now knowing that its over.

thanks everyone for your advice!

[caligirl23]

Yeah, I would let this one go. If she was interested, she would be more engaging rather than just "Hi" and leave it at that. Why text at all then? Glad you feel better though...

[Bmin7511]

I have to admit... she did say more than Hi... (she said exactly...Hi, I've been well. Its been awhile. Been busy with work. How have u been?).

I responded to that by telling her how my day was going....no response from her. Again, realizing its over and I should let it go.... This is why I hate text messaging!!!