Nearly 3 Months and i'm not even near over him. Is this normal?

[brittany]

Hi i'm new on this forum and could really do with some advice. My boyfriend of a year and a half and I split up 3 months ago and i'm still not over him. My friend said whats wrong with me I should be over him by now, he says its because i'm not filling up my time as i'm only in college 3 days a week. It gets worse when I see my ex because I always miss him so much afterwards but at the same time I don't want to cut of contact because hes been one of my best friends for years and we have several mutual friends who I like to hang out with.

The thing is I hadn't seen him for a while before this weekend and last weekend and both times he has cracked jokes about how much I miss him and I really don't find this funny in fact its pretty offensive and inappropriate. He has a very crude sense of humour which i've always liked apart from now. I don't know whether I should ring him and tell him so or just leave it because I don't want him to know I care. He seems perfectly fine since we split up as if he never cared that much.

I just want to move on but I don't know how. I want to be friends with him but I don't know how. Is it normal to feel like this or am I just being over the top? Its affecting my school work as I just have no energy or motivation all I want to do is just stay in bed and hide or go out party and get drunk, I just feel empty.

[cbee]

1) You need to have a period of no contact. Trust me, it allows you to pull yourself together, see things in a new light (not a guy tinted light) and realise you can do stuff by yourself & can be happy without him in your life. It doesn't mean it's forever

2) You need to do stuff, go out & get a part-time job, get a hobby, go out, meet new people.

It's hard at first but eventually you realise your life is better for it. Listen to your friend he only has your interests at heart when he's giving youy that advice. Trust me about three months ago I was in your shoes & it's worked for a hell of a lot of other people

[blue]

u wil heal at your own pace. Sometimes it can take a day week or even years. When u really love someone u just cant turn that off you know? In time you will get there and u will beging to move on c bee is right about the no contact, and hanging and doing things that intreset you. It does get better really. give it time everyone is different.

[misombra]

agreed. no contact. it sucks but i have been a pretty similar situation as you. the best thing i could have ever done is tell this person not to call me, email me, tell friends to tell me hi, nothing, no contact at all. because once that person comes into conscious that's it, your brain starts going and going. truth is if he really was meant to be with you he would be. you have to move on. i know it's hard though, sometimes i wish i could just carve people right out of my heart, but somehow you have to try to forget.

[KaWaiiSkYe]

T'is normal, usually it takes about 6 months to get over someone if you've been out with them for more than a year. It depends on the person I suppose, it depends on how fast they want to move on, so yesh.

[stardust]

Wow you sound like me! I am in the same situation. Me and my ex were together for 2 years and we broke up 2 months ago. I'm in college 3 days a week so my life is not as busy as his. I'm still not over him yet he seems to doing perfectly well without me! I find it strange because I always thought we were so happy together. Personally I find it hard to be friends with him. because there's always that extra something there and the fact i'm not over him just mucks me up even more. When ever I see him it just makes me worse. So I believe that It's just best to have little or no contact. I'm glad i'm not alone! I get depressed, I still cry and I go out at weekends, drink myself silly and forget it all but I do believe slowly I am improving. I belive you just have to give it time and realise that there's no going back. Be happy with what you had with your ex and look forward to the future. One day who knows, maybe we will both find our dream guy! x

[RuntimeError]

No Contact. Bag The Friends Idea. Get a New mate. I am avaiable

[Only-virgins]

Kill your-self.

[heaven_tonight]

You sound like me!
Only, mine is quite abit longer of time...lol.
If its meant to be, it will be.
<3

[ManInTheMirror]

Might take years though if you really like someone. Here are a few things you should be aware of :-

1) Don't let regrets , any type of regrets and 'what if' creep up on you . You sound like you are filled and overwhelmed with it. How to do this, well keep telling yourself that given all that has happen, it won't happen again and you will be smarter and more secured with the next one that comes along. ^.^, trust the future !

2) Be prepared for the worst, that is, be prepared to see someone else walking by his side. Im serious dude, if you can't handle even this, and that happens, you might do what Only-Virgins suggested. How to do this, easy, picture yourself in the future and see yourself succeeding in whatever you want to do, and then picture the people around you. Now ponder, why do you need him to be there ? Listen to the song "fighter" by Christina Aguilera and maybe "Better off alone" by Dj Alice to blow some steam . ^.^

3) You believe it fate ? Coz what heaven tonight say might be true depends on what you believe in. If you are one of those realistic person, then ignore this, but if you are one of those idealist, what's meant to be will be. If he is meant to be yours, he will be, but unfortunately, both your path ends there and now back to your own path. Life isn't just about two person, look further, see those tears in others, and you'll see how fortunate you are. COunt your blessings ! ^.^

and lastly, 4) this point is just for kicks, you see girl, your ex, not your ex, humans tend to lay claim on things and people. From my point of view, deep down your ex, im pretty sure that he still thinks that he owns you or you belong to him. From what you say, i do think that he still does. Sort of like an invisible chain. He may never show his affection until he loses you but im not suggesting that you find someone else. Im saying that you really meant something to him, but he doesnt show it because of those pride and ego matter. Don't worry, maybe in a year time, someone else walks by your side and he'll be crying over the phone telling you how much he loves you. ^.^

[Junket]

Have yourself a nice a milkshake, you deserve it.

[stardust]

good advice ManInTheMirror! although I'm not the one asking for help here, i'm going through the same kind of thing with my ex. Your words make sense so cheers! x

[brittany]

Thanks for the advice guys it has helped alot. Thanks Stardust at least we are in the same boat.