can someone tell me what is going on please?

[freedom4me]

Ok i apologize in advance. This may be a long post.

I met a guy three months ago online. I wasnt even really interested in meeting him but he was persistent with emails so i finally agreed. I really liked him when i met him but wasnt sure if he was that into me. He was extremely shy. He did end up sweeping me off my feet with his innocent sweetness. He bought me flowers. He was such a gentleman. I thought he was really into me. He remained very shy for a couple months. Not in the bedroom but in conversation. So a month into our relationship i asked him where we stood. He said he really liked hanging out with me but he didnt want a gf. I had issues with this since i was/am looking for a serious relationship. I decided to see him a few more rimes and we had the discussion again. He now said maybe, only time will tell. This gave me great hope. So we continued to date for another month. Everything seemed to be flowing nicely. He did kind of pull away a few times but nothing too serious.

Then starts our third month of dating. He acts as if i am his gf. He gets jealous if a man talks to me, if i get a phone call or text, or if i will be going places with my friends where i could find a man. Occasionally he asks me to pick up his dirty laundry, make his bed, do his dishes. His car broke down and he called me to help him. He has opened up to me significantly and we have started having real meaningful conversations. He asks my opinion on major decisions he has to make. Has me proof read his imprtant business paerwork and then has me save it without him even checking it over. Feels very much like a relationship to me at this point. Oh, and we have both decided to be exclusive.

Last weekend i spent both friday and saturday night at his house which has only happened once before and that was when he needed help with his car that broke down. Friday night was great! We had dinner and during dinner the topic evolved to relationships. Not speaking directly about our relationship i was able to learn some of his views. For instance two older people kissing in public would always be an affair because married people wouldnt be able to sustain that type of love. I was surprised he thought that. I believe you can keep the passion alive if you work at it. He disagreed. I said i thought it was important to discuss things you want deom a relationship early on to discover if the person you are dating is even a dating cantidate. After all who want to fall in love only to find the other person wants only fwb. He said he wouldnt be a part of my future, he didnt want to get married, he was married to his job. I said really? Then he took my hand and gazed into my eyes and said no. He is not affectionate at all so for him to hold my hand across the table meant he was joking and could see me in his future. I said i didnt want to get married either, then he joked he would have to take the ring back. Then he said he didnt want to get married quite a few more times at dinner and once again before bed. Although he says he doesnt want to get married i dont believe him. He asked me twice before if i would convert to his religion if we were to get married to which i said sure. I truly do not want to get married and hoped that subject would not come up. I might consider it with truly the right man though.

Later that night we are in bed and i put my arm around him like i always do. He says i dont like people up on me while im sleeping. I waa a little hurt and confuses because that how we always sleep. So i rolled over to my side of the bed and stayed there until morning. The alarm goes off. Its now time to get up. So i figure i will try again. He says "stop, dont touch me" in a pouty childs voice. So im a little miffed but i dont say anything. He turns around and asks why im so grouchy, anyway it turned into a little spat. Our first fight. He actually even asked me to leave. We made up, he ended up being late for work because he laid in bed wirh me for too long. Nothing sexual, just talking. I told him i was learning a lot about him lately. He tuens much more affectionate. He kissed me goodbye, which he never does (i always thought maybe he didnt wanr lipgloss on him before work so i never made it an issue), not once but twice. Then he texts me on his break which he rarely does. I ask him if he wants to see me again and we decide to go to a movie.

Dinner, movie he completely slept through, and halfway througha movie at his place and we both fell asleep. No affection. No touching. No kissing. Nothing. Wake up in the morning. Heard him tell his dad he changed his mind about something on the phone. Dont have a clue about what but i was suspicious. I didnt say anything about it. He gets reasy we both leave. He again kisses me and hugs me with passion. I think everything is fine. He says he will call me later.

No call. I text him late. We exchange four or five texts then he abruptly announces hes going to bed. He usually just texts me until he falls asleep and apologizes rhe next day.

Next day i text him i think about him first rhing in the morning. He says thats sweet. I say hes sweet. Nothing else. I havent heard from him since. This is very unusual. We talk or text several timea a day everyday since the day we met. So monday afternoon was the last time i heard from him. Last night i fot very ipset and told him i didnt feel special or imprtant to him so i would just move on. It was late so he couldve been asleep. Didnt hear back. This morning i told him i was very disappointed because things were foing so well and what did he rhink. No text back. He is at work now. He usually doesnt text me at work but sometimes he will on his break. So i am being patient and hoping to hear back something from him tonight.

The problem i have is that he just went cold and stopped texting me. Even when i texted him his response seemed pissed off. We were talking about when my son is coming out and i told him when i was leaving but wasnt sure exactly when i would get back because i have friends i wanted to visit. Thats when he turned cold. He said oh, and a few minutes later when i didnt text him back he said he was going to bed. That was sunday night. I heard from him monday afternoon. Nothing for two nights in a row even rhough i texted him. Can someone please help me understand what is going on???

Please excuse all my spelling mistakes. Its entirely too difficult to scroll up and fix everything on my tablet and my keyboard is very tiny

[freedom4me]

I think this may be an important detail as well. He never initiates physical intimacy. I always have to. Last time we were intimate he was being standoffish. I said really, are you gonna make me beg. And he said YES! He likes it when i beg cause it makes him feel wanted. I told him i always want him. And he made mention of how secure his complex is so i couldnt stalk him. Ive never stalked anyone. He always calls me crazy. Maybe hes used to crazy b****es who stalk him and are agressive in bed. I cant read this guy at all. Im a nice, wholesome girl. I have three children and im too old to deal with hs bs. Hes 31, im 35. Ohh, and he has no friends besides his roomate that i know of. Strange... and he talks on the phone with his co workers for 30-45 minutes and sometimes more when we are together. He always makes me drive, always! He will sit out in the living room speaking wirh his roomate for great lengths of time when we are together and i am in his bed waiting for him. Im talking sometimes an hour. He forbids me to go to certain events. He told me he enjoys telling me what to do because he is the "bossman". He is a very successful boss at work so he carries it over to our relationship. He tries to control me then completely disappears! I am so dumbfounded. A man has never disappeared on me before. What does this mean??

[misombra]

He is a huge waste of time and energy and love. You need to leave him alone.

[freedom4me]

Thank you misombra. I think that is exactly what i will do. Funny thing, everybody i know has been telling me to do that for a long time. Why i didnt listen to them, i havent a clue.

[haxan]

Not sure what kind of relationships you're use to, but that's not a normal one that you described. Move on to something more productive.

[oldskool83]

in the 1st few lines he said he didnt want a g/f....that ment he enjoys your company and the inside of your vagina. it was your clue to move on months ago but you didnt. next time learn what a man wants vrs what he doesnt want.

[freedom4me]

I still havent heard from him. To be honest i am heart broken. I dont understand how after three months he could just forget about me completely, like i never existed to him, i feel so awful. I feel like i meant absolutely nothing to him and it hurts. I couldve sworn he was falling for me too. Ive sent him several texts ranging from i am not going to let anyone treat me this way to how much he has hurt me. Ive sent six texts altogether. I quit texting him two nights ago and i will now just leave him in my past but its really upsetting. I cared so much about him. I never couldve imagined he could be so cold towards me.

[freedom4me]

I finally heard from him 6 days later after i sent him a text saying it was ok if he didnt want me in his life. I understood, it hurt but i can deal with it. I just asked him to have enough respect for me to tell me goodbye. A minute later he texted me. He acts like nothing happened. So a few texts later i ask what happened to him last week he says "nothing" and he will call me in a little while. This was over an hour ago. Its now almost midnight. He hasnt called me. Is it just over? Why would he even text me after six days?

[toknow]

I personally don't think he treats you properly, but it is possible to not call someone because you are doing other things and they aren't on your mind at the moment. He might have been really busy and just have gotten carried away. See how you can make things grow in your mind and get huge and sometimes completely misunderstand when you don't know what's going on. That's why it's always better to just be patient and wait before we come to hasty conclusions. He seems irresponsible to me, but again you have to give him the benefit of the doubt.

[freedom4me]

Ok so yesterday we were texting. Just small talk. Then i hadnt heard from him in 4 or 5 hours so i just said hey. He texted me hey back in the same minute. Usually he takes awhile to text me back. I asked if we were ok. Ten minutes later he texted me back and asked what i did during the day. Ignored my text asking if we were ok. Then we sent some more small talk texts. Then i just asked him if he wanted to see me anytime soon. He said he didnt know. So i said ok thats cool, you know how i feel so if you want me in your life text me. He texts me back right away that he has to get up early and asks me what im doing the next day. I say i dont have plans. He says he has to be up early again. I say have a good day tomorrow. He says you too. Wth is going on. By him texting me back after i said if you want me text me does that mean he wants me in his life? He has absolutely no problem completey ignoring me so why wouldnt he just do that instead of respond to a text like that. Looking back he changed after our conversation about marriage where we both said we didnt want to get married. Im wondering if he really does want to get married. Hes asked me twice if i would convert to his religion if we got married. But that doesnt make sense that he would quit talking to me because i dont want to and he does, weve only been seeing each other three months! I have no clue what is going on.

[oldskool83]

get over him, find a new one. he just want to hump you.

[freedom4me]

Youre probably right oldskool83. Im waking up. I dont know why this hurts so much. I am going ro start seeing other people i guess.

[oldskool83]

you dont need to see other people. get over him and just live your life. so many people think cuz 1 id done they must find another asap. be yourself.

[freedom4me]

I have men who are interested in seeing me but i havent dated anyone else because i was exclusive with this guy. I see no reason for me to sit at home alone when i can go out with other men. I am not actively looking for men if thats what you mean. It will feel good to cut the thread and let this guy go. I have been paralyzed for the past couple weeks by him. I have stopped going to the gym, quit tanning, can barely make it to the grocery store. Im over it and tired of feeling this way. Its time i move on and forget him. I guess. Theres always that tiny part of me that wants him so bad.

[oldskool83]

wow you sound like miss popular go date away than, did you really need out help anyway if you have others lined up?