whats going on with him??

[ellasmummy]

My partner and I have been together for three years and have a beautiful 1 year old girl, he's a fantastic dad and i love him with my whole heart. But these last few months it feels like hes not really here, his mind is always somewhere else, he tells me he loves me and kisses me ect. but it feels like he's doing it because thats what hes used to/meant to do. ive tried talking to him about it and he just snaps at me and tells me he's fine, i know that he isnt cheating because hes very against cheating but he is also against being an absant dad, im worried hes just sticking around for our daughter. i dont know what to think or what to do. i love him so much, i dont know what i would do if i lost him.

Any advice please?

[smackie9]

Maybe he has lost his job and hasn't told you yet, or he is having a emotional affair with a co-worker, he has racked up other credit cards that you don't know about, he could be doing drugs, I can go on and on. We can't really tell you. The only thing you can do is investigate. Look through banking and credit card statments, talk to a close friend or family member, check emails, etc. No one on here encourages snooping BUT since he refuses to talk to you about the changes in his behavior what other choice do you have?

[Hamburglar0]

Top things that come to mind:

- Maybe he's got an addiction problem that he isn't willing to share with you yet.
- Maybe he's fallen out of love with you (hopefully not) and is struggling with this fact internally.
- Maybe you're overanalyzing / trying to read into something that isn't really a problem, and he's actually just fine?

[Sixpacj]

Maybe he has lost his job and hasn't told you yet, or he is having a emotional affair with a co-worker, he has racked up other credit cards that you don't know about, he could be doing drugs, I can go on and on. We can't really tell you. The only thing you can do is investigate. Look through banking and credit card statments, talk to a close friend or family member, check emails, etc. No one on here encourages snooping BUT since he refuses to talk to you about the changes in his behavior what other choice do you have?

No. I disagree.

"No-one here encourages snooping" but you are now encouraging snooping...? ;-)

Whatever you do DO NOT pry and poke, and "investigate". There is nothing men hate more, IMHO, than a woman who won't let him be when he needs time on his own. Maybe he simply needs to "go into his cave" and regenerate emotionally, the more you bugger him with "what's wrong?", the more he will grow to resent you and hate you. Just give him space. I think "Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars" has a pretty good description of this condition.

WHatever it is, he is not ready to talk about it and your best course of action is to back off until he is.

[Boisdevie]

Men talk when they are good and ready to talk. If you push him he'll hate you for it.
I am a man. It's how we do stuff.

[Hamburglar0]

Men talk when they are good and ready to talk. If you push him he'll hate you for it.
I am a man. It's how we do stuff.

Completely true