what should i do?

[superwoman28]

ill try to sum up myself first n then my situation. im 28 n fall in love easily, but am super picky/careful who i love. i see men/people for who they are n accept them. love gets me every time. i believe we can love many people in our lifetime & in many different ways. but for me love always happens when im not looking for it. i try to fight it every time. but who can fight a thing called love?

so my situation: i moved to a new place 3months ago. finally starting a new life n being focused on my goals. content and happy being solo. then the classic story happens.. man at my work captures my attention. we start talking every day. we enjoy eachother. but even more than that there is a deep spiritual/physical/emotional connection & chemistry. i believe our feelings r equally strong for eachother. we've been dating for a lil over a month now. at first i wanted to jump into a relationship w/ him b/c that's all ive ever done w/ the men ive loved in the past (note: that it is the exact reason why im single time and again lol) he however wants to take things slowly. at first i was bothered and confused b/c ive never been "challenged" this way by a man. but now i am thankful that i had the time to realize that it's more special to take things slow. however it leaves me slightly unsure and insecure. for example, how slow does he want to take things (esp after we've already slept together -HA!) and also what are his reasons for taking it slow? -ive tried to talk to him about this but my head gets flooded w/ emotions and somehow it turns to anger and me getting mad at him and wanting to end it out of frustration and not understanding him. i know he is protecting himself. and i know he is capable of commitment (more so than i am that's for sure) he was married for 10years but has been divorced now for 12. he took 5yrs after his divorce to heal and be completely alone. and he slowly started dating again. i know his last g/f was with him for 2yrs and that was 2yrs ago!!!!(i didnt ask exactly why it didnt work out, but from what i got is that she wanted to move in with him & he wasnt ready for that)? i also asked him if he still loved his ex wife. and he said yes. which i figured. i know i still love my last ex in some weird way. but to sum up this man that i find myself falling in love with is that he challenges me in every way. but it's such a good thing! yet it leaves me so confused about when or where or if this is even going to be what i think it is. he says he's lonely in life and i know he would want to be married again (which is what i want b/c i have never been) and yet he has such a guard up. he told me im everything he's looking for yet he feels like i can do better? we've had our little fights but that's only b/c i think we're still getting to know eachother and sort out our feelings. i know how much he cares about me & i dare say he loves me. im no fool. i know that a month and a week is such a short time to be in love. but also i know how love works. basically my problem is that we both push eachother away b/c maybe our feelings are too strong & we dont know how to handle them. but also we both really enjoy eachothers company at the same time. he says we should let things happen naturally. but ive never taken a relationshiop slow b4 either. it's hard b/c i think we're both so sensitive right now that it's doing more harm than good.

last night i got upset w/ him and frustrated and my anger got the best of me and i sent him some mean texts telling him how rude he is b/c i was offended by something little that he did. and then i took it to the next fighting level and told him "you wont ever have to talk to me again!" and that was it. we've fought like this b4. a couple times but it's always me starting the fight and mending the fight. this time i just want to see how much he likes me. if he will text me and how long he will go w/out talking to me. or if he will completely let his pride take over and forget about me all together. in a way i shouldnt test a man like this. but in a way it will bring me comfort to know how much he really cares.... so what do u all think about this??????

[Cerby]

"You're a psycho with some kind of emotional disorder." As a male this is the first thing I think of when I read your post. So I read it again, and confirm that I'm correct, you're a total nutcase.

5 weeks in and you're fighting through text? You're trying to see "how much he likes you" by being a bitch towards him? Guess what dear, if a girl I had been dating for a short time was talking to me like that, I'd just call it off completely, ESPECIALLY if I'd already put your notch on the bedpost. You are CLEARLY more work than you're worth, so I think it is time you start working on how you handle conflict and relationship based situations, because you're obviously bad at it.

[Boisdevie]

Agree with Cerby. Just 5 weeks in and you're already arguing? Hardly a positive sign is it?

[IndiReloaded]

You sent him a text that you are upset as a test? Why? If he was rude, fine, let him know (preferably not by text). If he's not a jerk he will apologize.

You are 28, not 18. Why is this even a question?

[haxan]

At least she's super picky about who she falls in love with. That's a positive.

[searock]

OP, I think what made you send the crazy text was the whole situation, which you feel like you haven't been able to control. You want him to commit, and the fact that he doesn't makes you jumpy and insecure. Yet you don't say anything and try to keep your calm, until you eventually can't take it and you "burst" and do silly things like the text.

I think you should seriously consider what exactly you want. Do you want a relationship with this man? If so, then you need to tell him that either you make it official, or it's over. You don't seem to enjoy being put "on hold", without knowing exactly where you stand. At the very least, you should stop sleeping with him until it's official.