"i don't need you anymore"

[justask4it]

this is not actually for me.

my friend just asked me because she and her boyfriend broke up and according to her that's the last thing he said to her. (I don't need you anymore). well, I really don't know what's the side of her boyfriend. And i really don't know what to say to her. but based on her story it's like she feels like being used. like the boyfriend just think about her when it comes to sex or like when he needs something. I really don't know the whole story but she told the boyfriend of what she feels and the boyfriend said that he's tired of my friend's complaining and he said he was sorry of those times that he forgot about a date or something, or when he doesn't text. I read his last text and it goes like this. "yeah, I'm a bad guy. You always make me feel like I'm a bad guy. I already said I was sorry and you always put a big deal on that. You think that it's always sex for me and that i only think about you when i need you. tell you what, I don't need you anymore."

I really don't know if he really means it based on the text. I really want to help my friend. Thanks

[smackie9]

It's obvious your friend over reacts and can't let things go. A missed text is like the end of the world to her and she lets him know it. His apologies were never enough for her. All her bitching and accusations really wore him down. A guy that doesn't feel appreciated and supported is a guy that's gonna walk away. He was fed up and I don't blame him. Why did this happen? Because of her own insecurities.

"I don't need you anymore" means, "You are not worth all this abuse".

Tip for your friend: If your relationship expectations are not being fulfilled, just end the relationship, plain and simple. Don't be inflicting pain and misery on someone because your needs were not being met....you look pathetic. Now you will be known as the crazy ass bi tch ex GF....way to be.

[justask4it]

oh. thanks. i don't know how to tell her that. lol. coz they're like 4 years or something and i saw her cry everytime her ex makes him wait for like 2 hours when he promises something he can't keep up. but thank you...

[bulrush]

The guy forgot about a date? That's pretty bad. But I miss texts all the time because I don't keep my phone on, as I don't use it much and I have limited minutes. Give us some more examples of what the guy did. Like, did he borrow money from your friend and never pay it back? Did he borrow something and damage it but lie about it?

[justask4it]

money never been an issue. the guy is really generous. like treating her on a date or treating us, as a group sometimes. yeah, most of the time yeah, the guy sometimes forgot a date. and is frequently late for like 2 hours and my friend used to wait for him, always. based on my observation. he's like impulsive. like when he really focus on something, he forgot his other responsibilities. he is my friend too, and i can say that he is kind. he just seems distracted and his life is like no direction at all. that's just my observation. their relationship has been on and off but i think this is the first time the guy tell her that he didn't need her anymore...

[smackie9]

It's possible he has ADD. I had a friend that was like that, she would always be late, forget things, and get scramble brained when she had too much on the go.

[smackie9]

oh. thanks. i don't know how to tell her that. lol. coz they're like 4 years or something and i saw her cry everytime her ex makes him wait for like 2 hours when he promises something he can't keep up. but thank you...

If this is the way he is then she will never be happy with him anyways and that it was good that it ended now and not 10 years into a marriage with kids. Just tell her that.

[justask4it]

she keeps blaming herself that it's all her fault. like she shouldn't tell him how she feels.. I don't know about ADD, he seems normally but I will tell her about that possibility. thanks. this really helps.

[smackie9]

she keeps blaming herself that it's all her fault. like she shouldn't tell him how she feels.. I don't know about ADD, he seems normally but I will tell her about that possibility. thanks. this really helps.

Well it is her fault because she nagged at him to death. Nothing worse than being with someone that is all over you all the time for stuff. I have to ask you tho, has this been going on for the duration of their relationship or is this recent?

[justask4it]

yeah, for the duration of their relationship...her boyfriend saying he is sorry but i think he keeps repeating those mistakes.

[smackie9]

Well then if this is how he, why did she spend 4 years trying to change him? He is who he is, and she had the choice to end the relationship within a few months at the beginning. So ya she can only blame herself for what happened.