Boyfriend Can't Find a Job. Help!

[missamarissa]

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 4 months. I have huge feelings for him and he helps me around the house a lot. Hes kind, caring, and is by far the best guy I've dated.

The only problem is that he can't find a job. He's been unemployed for a year now (he was a stock trader for a company until July but it was not salary based and he didn't make much money).

With the economy the way it is, his hopes are down. He has applied to numerous jobs with no response at all since July. Because of his financial condition, he's had to move into his parents house until he can find something again. So, its not like hes not trying to look for one, its just that he cant find one.

As a result and as you can image, this has put a huge amount of stress on our relationship. I've paid for 4 of his bills already and even took him on a mini vacation so he can take some time from being so stressed.

I really don't know what to do anymore. Hes constantly getting upset and frustrating with every little process of the job hunt. I can understand why, but I really don't know how to help him. Is there any advise you guys can give me? I'm also on a tight budget and dont have that much room anymore to keep paying for everything. Please let me know what you guys think. Thank you!

[bloodtippedrose]

I'm sort of in the same situation as your boyfriend, I graduated in june and aside from one short paid internship, I have not worked in over a year. My boyfriend has been paying the bills. It helps that he is very supportive and understanding of how difficult it is for me to get a job, and gently reminds me from time to time that it would be very nice if I could get one. I feel bad that I am the reason he can't save, so I've lowered my standards greatly and I've been denied many minimum wage jobs! I have the experience and Im a really hard worker! Its nuts out here.

I know that right now is the time to apply more than ever because many companies need extra help for the christmas season. I am planning on snagging a minimum wage seasonal position and once I do I will work hard to make them want me as a regular. When working there I will continuously post my resume and keep a lookout for jobs. Like your boyfriend, I get very discouraged when I dont get calls back, but theres nothing you can do but keep trying. He should try calling up on his connections, a family member putting a good word in for him wherever they work could be the key. He can't just give up.

I suggest you continue being supportive but tell him you can't afford paying anymore of his bills and that you'll both have to sit down and think up another plan. He definitely needs you right now, its a huge blow to your ego to have no one want you to work for them, its humiliating to have your girlfriend pay your dues and its even more humiliating to be forced to move in with your parents. Keep a listen out for any odd jobs, my boyfriends family knows Im out of work so they are constantly letting me know wheres hiring everytime they see something in the paper or signs in windows.

[oldskool83]

a job is a job...even working at a supermarket would give him somthing to hope for. it sucks you wont earn what you did but it will help. time to own up and realized $8 an hour is better then nothing after unempoylment runs out.

[bulrush]

Misamerissa, my uncle has been out of work for 3 years. He has advanced degrees in the manufacturing field. Tell your boyfriend to stop whining, and start cleaning toilets. Here in Michigan, one of the worst states in the nation for economics (that means finding jobs, salaries, future job potential, etc.) it's even hard to find a job at McDonald's. Because the managers mainly hire college kids so they can pay for their tuition. They won't hire college grads because the manager knows they will leave when they find a better opportunity. It makes business sense McD's but it's hard on the people who just need to hang on for a bit.

[VA-girl]

I agree with the last two posters. I also think there is a fine line between helping and enabling. Just be careful not to help too much. I have done that, and it got me nowhere. The guy was even more convinced that others owed him something, and years later, he is still unemployed. I agree that a job is a job, and someone with integrity will work wherever he can to get some kind of money, even if it's many setps down. Good luck!

[prettygirl]

Atleast you guys aren't part timers. I'll tell you this is more complicated.

[cheekxs]

how old are you guys\\'?


and i think a men have to work!
a men sitting on his ass is not good in any since of the word.
soon u can find them doing bad stuff on the street or dont want to work anymore.

so if he cant find job "A" he need to change his mind and look for "B,C,D,
or maybe Z if necessary.

Cause how the world has turned the last couple of years you cant be much picky.
cause while u r acting like that , many that really wants to work will come in and take it.

And if you are married i think u should stay by your men. and when u see o hear about a job, let him know.
But its him that have to move his as and go after the jobs.
He is a adult so he need to take the lead and get things done.
Call the factory's and stuff and ask them if they are looking for people.

[cheekxs]

And if you have money to pay for vacations for u and him i dont think u have a problem in your pocket.
Cause people that dont have much would not go on vacation and pay for friends.

u can better save the money for when things gets worse!

[imless]

It's okay if you're the one paying his bills but if time comes that you can say he's making use of it then that's the problem already. If you want him to find a job then don't pressure him, you can't easily find for a job really if you don't have the good quality to be hired. Just let him be employed anywhere suitable with his skills.

[HARVEY23]

He's the man so I think he supposed to treat you as his princess.
Anyway, maybe it's a challenge for him to show how much his love for you.

[Barrettt]

I wish you very best of luck for your boyfriend and i pray for you people that he got the job and you have a great time with him.

[jwayne]

There are definitely good times and down times.

Your man needs your support. Believe in him and yourself.

Good luck!

[michael_love]

do you have any friends or someone that can give him a quasi-position, with helping them ? get started small, like an internship is an idea. did he go to college or does he go currently ? be social and meet as many people as you can ! like at clubs or friends or whatever. You never know what friend of yours will have a job for him. I recently got hired by a friend of my dad's he loves my work at his company, and it's a laid back schedule for me, and it is hard work, but he is really proud of me and glad to have me working there.

enroll in college, they have intern programs. He starts as an intern, and after about 6 months he can get hired in full or part time.

[michael_love]

you need skills in this world. he needs specific skills in a specific industry. and a degree or a certificate in a specific area is good to have.

research what industries are big in your town, they will be hiring the most people. they will have a job board, with openings listed.

if he doesn't have the qualifications listed, well now you know what to do, go get the listed qualifications