Frustration

[Spirit101]

Ok so I met this girl in my city about mid last year and we hooked up and stuff but she never (and still not) became my girlfriend, but we really like each other and stuff. About late last year she moved to another city (which she had planned way before she even met me) but we've kept in strong contact. She calls me nearly every night and I call her. I've asked her out, but she said she's not ready for a boyfriend yet, which is fair enough, yet she still chooses to call me nearly every night and do lots of a stuff a girlfriend would. From my experience, 'friends' don't call each other every night. I flew up to see her earlier this year and it really felt like we were going out. I knew we weren't, but we did stuff a normal couple would do. We've had great times together.

It's been almost a year with all this going on and she still doesn't want a relationship, but she still wants to call me pretty much every night and I call her. I've been trying to go up and see her again, but she keeps stuffing me around saying she's too busy and doesn't have time to think of it at the moment, but she says she still wants to see me, but just can't at the moment. We always end up fighting cause all I want to do is go up and see her but she's just so stubborn. Whenever I bring up this stuff and tell her I hate her stuffing me around, she always tries to switch it around and try make me feel like the bad guy and says I'm pressuring her and being selfish, then the next day acts like I didn't say all that stuff. One day she says she'll think about taking it to a relationship, one day she says she's not ready.

This is REALLY screwing with me head and I always tell myself 'don't call her, let her come to you' but I always end up calling her because I still really really like her. I'm sick of playing her games and wondering 'will she or won't she every come round?' All my mates say it's not worth it, she's being a bitch, stop contacting her, but it's so damn hard. Bottom line is this really seems like a relationship, but it isn't cause she doesn't know what she wants. I really like her and want to be with her so bad, and I'm pretty sure she really likes me. Should I stop calling her and let her come to me? Advice please!!

[iamaninnocentma]

If you build it, she will come. You should watch that movie. Costner at his best imo.

[smackie9]

She is not the problem, it's the fact you are being an idiot because you don't listen. You want a relationship, she told you no. All you had to do is tell her goodbye and be done with it. So all this BS is caused by your inability to get the hint she doesn't want a serious relationship with you. I don't blame her for being a bitch, because you are being an obsessive prick. Listen to your friends, accept this will never happen, and move on will ya!

For all you know she has a BF in the military and she is using you because she is lonely. I bet he is back in town when she says she is busy.

[Spirit101]

Well maybe you're right about me being obsessive, but that's no excuse for her being a total bitch and playing games. And I know she doesn't have a boyfriend and I'm pretty sure she's not using me. I know hew quite well now and we're really close. She asks me to say WHY I like her and why I like being with her, only to turn around and say she doesn't want a relationship. This is why I'm confused. Maybe she just wants me to tell her cause she's insecure and needs to hear it. It's so hard for me to move on because I've become so close to her, and I'm finding it hard to accept the fact she doesn't want a relationship. Selfish I know.

[haxan]

She's a game player and found a puppy dog that will do exactly as told. What do you expect? Don't think for a second that she's not pushing hard to meet other men.