I met the man of my dreams but I let the fear get to me because of my trust issues, I let him see that i was immature and crazy.
I used to be confident and always happy,. We we fine until I sent him a stupid goodbye message and the fact my sister thought it would be interesting to text him on her phone. Kinda seemed stalkerish thinking bout it. He told me not to message him, I deleted him off of everything. But he's still all I think about, I want to push my confidence up and do something positive. I was too clingy looking back, which I shouldn't have been, just wish I could prove to him That i could change and things can change but I guess that's not gonna happen. every time i went to i deleted it. I feel like I was an arse to him for no reason because I was insecure and didn't feel I deserved him.
I've apologised again for my behaviour but obviously he won't believe it. If it was me I'd be the same but i can't let go, I don't want him out of my life but I was stupid to tell him to find another girl and for sending those stupid immature texts messages. I wasn't think straight at all I was mess. I see logic again but i can't change anything. I hate myself for what i did to him. I'm going to go on this anger management course once I've got a new job to stop it all happening again, the only problem is he's gone andit's forever. and it's all my fault for being a stupid little girl.
I bet theres nothing I can do is there?
He might not even look at it but this is what i wrote for my second apologie, I know second because i'm an idiot
Hey
I know you probably think I�m crazy and that�s fine
But I�m sorry for my immature behaviour
I was over thinking everything like an idiot
You didn't deserve it
I�m sorry, and I really mean it
I hope everything is good with you
nothing I can do