Why would he not wish me goodluck

**lampshade** · 08-08-12, 01:42 AM

Last year a workmate and I expressed feelings for one another but didn't act upon them firstly because work and play do not mix well and secondly we are both already attached. We put those feelings to one side and moved on
remaining good work mates, lots of laughter, banter. watching each others
backs, helping each other on projects etc. Out of the blue I was offered a
new job with another company and used annual leave instead of working my notice. I emailed a group of workmates to say thanks, goodbye and take care. All replied wishing me well apart from him. Later on I text him to say " just
a personal note to say as you may know I've left the company today thanks
for all your help, use the summer to top up your tan best wishes and take
care". He replied saying he would top up his tan and that was it. He didn't
wish me well or say goodbye. Why would he not wish me well or good luck?

**toknow** · 08-08-12, 01:49 AM

Tell me why YOU think he did that, and then I'll tell you what I think. Because, I think you might already know the answer to your question.

**lampshade** · 08-08-12, 01:57 AM

I think maybe because I didn't let him know about the job so hes annoyed at me, but it all happened so fast and he was on holiday at the time

**Cerby** · 08-08-12, 02:12 AM

lampshade - do you really care? He is in the past, if he is bitter about you leaving then forget him. No reason to look back on this at all, just move forward.

**toknow** · 08-08-12, 02:13 AM

Yes, I think you are right. He also might have some kind of feelings for you and that would make it even worse. He, might feel like you didn't care for him so you are leaving. As I said if he has feelings for you, he's pretty upset that you are leaving him so to speak. And by being so nonchalant about it, it make it seem like you care about what you guys "have" even less. So, again if he got attached to you in some way, he's feeling the pain right now, though he might not be showing it.

**lampshade** · 08-08-12, 02:16 AM

Thanks guys, if things were different then it would be different, but they are not so in the long run it seems this new job may be a blessing in more ways than one. thanks again

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 08-08-12, 03:25 AM

Maybe he realized you were fishing for something, and didn't want to play along? If I have feelings for someone, the moment I realize nothing will come of it, they're dead to to me. Maybe he's similar.

**lampshade** · 08-08-12, 03:32 AM

I hadn't considered that he might think I was fishing for something. It wasn't my intention when I sent the text. I realized I would probably never see him again and because we were good workmates I wanted to send him a personal message of wishing him well and assumed he would want to wish me well too. Now he hasn't I suppose I feel a little hurt which is stupid really because he doesn't owe me anything.

**toknow** · 08-08-12, 04:34 AM

If he has developed some filings for you what you did is on par with, dropping a 200 pound cristal ball on his stomach with a smile on you face and a wish for happy holidays. So, you can understand his reaction.
You guys don't plan on keeping in touch, correct?

He probably felt like your experience together had some value, but by doing what you did you showed him that it didn't really mean much to you and this probably upset him.

**lampshade** · 08-08-12, 05:18 AM

Gosh I never thought of it like that... There are no plans for us to keep in touch but is there a way I could put this right? I don't think I could bear thinking of him thinking ill of me.

**TheCafeTerrace** · 08-08-12, 05:22 AM

Originally Posted by lampshade

There are no plans for us to keep in touch but is there a way I could put this right?

Yeah, by keeping in touch.

**lampshade** · 08-08-12, 05:25 AM

I'm not even sure he wants to keep in touch, surely if he did he would have wished me well and said keep in touch. I thought you guys were supposed to be the straight forward ones of our species. x

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 08-08-12, 05:28 AM

Get the **** over it. Do not contact him apologizing or whatever. Just let it go.

And for the record, you were fishing for something. If you weren't then you would have said something to him before you sent the general email. It was only after everyone else had wished you well and he hadn't, that you sent him that text. I'm not saying that you don't like him or you don't wish him the best, but come on..it's pretty clear that it got under your skin that he ignored you. It's not worth taking it any further. You've already put him off, and unless you're going to suck his wee wee, I doubt he's interested in ever talking to you again. If he was, he would have responded more positively. Just let it go.

**SunsetRainbow** · 08-08-12, 05:33 AM

I think he still has feelings for you, and is put off so he's sulking really.
But he probably thinks nothing will come of it, so he's being quite immature about it.
I suggest letting it go. If he wants you, he'll come back.

**lampshade** · 08-08-12, 05:38 AM

We have both remained attached and both agreed it was better to stay just as mates. I thought we had both moved on, I thought we'd both got over our crush. I don't feel slighted that he hasn't wished me well I just think given what was agreed it seems a little strange. On reflection I think I should have handled it differently but he seemed to have moved on too.

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