Should I be mad about this?

[brian723]

My gf of 3.5 years and I are both in our late 20's. Two weeks ago she left for Israel on birthrite and extended her trip. Before her trip, I asked her to make sure to txt me every day to just stay in touch and let me know everything is alright. I don't expect a book, just a very short couple word text.

In the last 2 weeks, she has only msged me a few times, and we skyped once. I 100% am sure she is very busy, and do not want to get in the way of her having fun and experiencing everything. However, I have become increasingly frustrated lately. She has been going out clubbing and partying a ton with her friends there and drinking quite a bit. I can tell from the photos on fb that everyone was having "fun". Additionally, she extended her trip and needed a place to stay so she stayed on the couch of her male guide in his apartment for a few nights.

A) Do I have the right to be mad about her staying at her male guides apt? I see this as being disrespectful to me. I can see how most girls would get upset if their bf crashed at a girls house they didnt know and drank all the time.

B) Am overreacting to everything in general? The fact that my gf is half a world away partying and clubbing makes me uneasy. I know how things get when people are drinking heavily and sleeping in close quarters.

Thanks all for the advice and take care.

[pisces25]

Hmm to be honest I'd feel a bit uneasy too. Then again, if you trust her you shouldn't worry. Do you trust her, at home, under usual circumstances? When is she returning? Perhaps you could communicate to her that you're feeling there is a bit of emotional distance between you both and you want more contact.

[toknow]

Whoa...I see...red flags popping up everywhere!

"I see this as being disrespectful to me." You are correct. It doesn't look good at all.
Ask her if she would be ok with you doing the same, as you are going on a trip and have no other place to stay than with this girl, but she shouldn't worry about it...right.

If she doesn't see this as wrong, then she can't be serious about your relationship.

[brian723]

I do trust her, but when the drinks are flowing and such I more don't trust the situation she is in, if that makes sense.

She gets back in 6 days.

Today, I was planning on just telling her that I would like a bit more contact in the next week. Even a txt or 2 here or there is completely fine.

[toknow]

There has to be a good base for trust. You can't just trust someone blindly. They have to give you a good reason for it. And one such reason is for THEM to make the effort not to give you doubts, and for them to care how this affects you and the relationship. Doesn't look good at all, for the future. For all you know, she might have slept with him, and you might never find out. Has she made an effort not to put herself in such an improper situation, then you have a very good reason to trust her.

I...see...bed people! Not to make lite of the situation because it's very serious, but apparently she doesn't think so.

[LoveBobo]

Trust has nothing to do with it. Example :if you trust someone who cheats on you then you are being ignorant. I would get in touch and lay the rules out. I don't think you are over-reacting at all. Alcohol makes people do crazy things, things they may regret, things you may not like, things that break relationships.

On that note, what the fuk is up with girls that want to "see the world" but end up doing the same thing they can do at home?

The other question I must ask, why is she being like this? Surely she is not always like this. I mean a girl in this kind of relationship should know better (no offence intended)?

[pisces25]

On that note, what the fuk is up with girls that want to "see the world" but end up doing the same thing they can do at home?

Guys don't do this?

[Cerulean.]

Something is up. Is she good about using her phone at home? If I were in love with someone and left across the world, I'd be in touch with them a lot. I'd miss them. Sure, I'd be busy but there's always room for communication. It's bullshit if someone says "Sometimes they're busy and don't have time for themselves..." excuses excuses. It's not hard to send a quick message letting them know you're thinking about them, love them and miss them. Your situation has tons of red flags. I'm surprised you let this go on for as long as it has. Talk to her, ASAP.