Well, I guess I should start off saying this is sort-of-kind-of-but-not-really a long story, I just genuinely don't know what to make of this. There comes a time when there are just certain things you don't want to go to your family about, because the last thing they want to hear is that you're having "problems" in your relationship. At least in my situation.
I'm very new to the whole dating game. I'm 22 and in my first-ever relationship. My boyfriend is 29, and I'm his second "serious" relationship. We've been dating for almost 7 months, and have known each other for over a year now. We met on an online dating site and kind of hit it off right away. I have now moved over 1200 miles to be with him (we now live together), left my family behind, and decided it was best to be with him rather than stay apart. We have been living together for a little over 2 months.
It's one of those situations where he is a different person than I thought in a lot of ways. The main way is in AFFECTION/PHYSICAL CONTACT.
I went to meet my -now- boyfriend a few times before I moved in, and every day he was very affectionate/physical and all over me, but now that I've moved in, it's very sporadic. We have 3-4 day lulls where he will barely even kiss me. I know that seems like not that long to have "lulls", but I've heard it takes like... 6 months of living together/being around each other before passion begins to fade. It's the major difference between us: I'm really affectionate, and apparently he is not. I like physical contact, and since I've moved in, he's told me he does not like a lot of physical contact. It was news to me, because like I said before, when I went to visit him it was constant "can't-keep-my-hands-off-you" affection with him.
I'll say up front that I am a virgin, and so is he... I really want to make love to him, but he tells me "Not today" or "I'm just not ready". I didn't even know guys who were the ones who were not ready for sex even really existed (joking). We tried once (about 9 months ago), but it sort of flopped, and now his ego is severely bruised. I try to tell him everything is going to be okay, because when we tried I was really nervous. But I'm at the point where NOW I'm really starting to want it. Especially when we actually are physical, it's very heated and great... It just makes me want it all the more. What's most frustrating is that now that I've voiced that I really want to make love, he thinks I'm all about the physical. I think if it was all about the physical I wouldn't have moved all this way just for sex.
How can I not want to make love when I have... well, a fairly high sex drive, being a virgin, and the guy I love next to me in bed every night? I try the whole lingerie, sexy clothes, seduction thing, but it never works. More times than not he laughs at me and thinks I'm silly. It crushes my spirit after awhile...
So I guess I just really need advice on how I can to deal with this. Has anyone been in the same situation? I've already decided that I want to stick it out with him. I'm in it for the long haul; I want to marry this man. I just know sex/physicality is a major part of almost any relationship. Any tips or advice? Should I really just keep waiting for something that may never even happen?
Thanks so much in advance guys!