I need unbiased advise, help!
So I started dating my first boyfriend two years ago when I was 18. He's a year younger than me. The good times were amazing. We were very much in love. However, the bad times were awful. He was very insecure, jealous, and had social anxiety. He wouldn't hang around my friends and when I did he would become so insecure he'd try to break up over it. Every 3 months he'd break up with me, claiming I was too good for him and he was too depressed. Days later we'd get back together. It was like clockwork. One time we were "broken up" he had sex with his crazy ex. I forgave him for that and I gave him another chance. I went to study abroad in Italy and he cheated on me with that same ex. Despite him claiming to be extremely in love with me. It's been almost a year, I tried being his friend and it didn't work. We got into old habbits and I realized it wasnt good for me so I called it off. He's emailing me again, months later, saying that I'm the love of his life, he'll wait for me until I know whether or not I want to try again, "however long it takes". That he'll change and that he'll make me happy no matter what. He says every guy will hurt me but he realizes his mistakes and will love me more than anyone else could. Hes saying give him yet again another chance so we wont rregret it. Im scared ill have to deal with the heart ache all over again. My question is, should I move on or should I consider getting back? I feel as if he'll always be apart of me, but of course I'm not in love anymore after everything's that's happened. I'm scared I'll regret losing him in the future. I told him that if it was meant to be then it will be, that I just need to live my life right now. But he acts like this is all so urgent, he can't accept that maybe fate will bring us together one day.
My family and friends despise him. They saw how many tears I've shed over the years for him. They find him extremely manipulative
Although I don't feel that intense feeling of being in love anymore, I remember the good times and I remember when we were falling back into old habbits when we were trying to be friends, and it makes me feel really sad. And almost longing for that with him again. But then I think about everything else and I just don't know.
I'm extremely picky when it comes to guys. I feel like I'll never be as comfortable with another guy or like another guy as Much as i was with him