I cheated on her, should I admit it?

[Malik]

I am dating my Girlfriend for 7 years now. She is the love of my life and I would do everything for her! After High School I moved to Cali and she moved to DC for college. We thought that a LDR wouldn't be a problem if two people really love each other.
The first year over there I felt so lonely and depressed, I grew up in Turkey and moved with my family later to Chicago and then livin in Cali by myself was depressing, I didn't know anybody over there until I met that girl, it was just sex and I decided not to see her again. She called me 2 month later and said that she was pregnant with my baby. This was 4 years ago and I am a father of a lil boy now. I will move back to Chicago next year. I just don't know how I should explain all this to her. I am so scared to lose her, she is the perfect girl and I am sure I will never be happy with another woman if she leaves me!

[JB9]

You're going to have to sometime, you have a child. Do you really think this can stay a secret? Man up!

[BellaRomance]

Be honest. If she loves you, she will understand, you guys were apart and that's not easy. Also, you have a child, you have to be honest about your child.

[wilsonjack230]

I think she never bear this truth but on the other hand you should do something for your child. You have only one option that girl or your child.

[rappelz]

No matter who should be brave to assume their formerly.

[nackyBowBow]

Yeah, you have to tell her! You have a kid!!!

[Malik]

Thanks y'all so far fir your responses

[smackie9]

She's gonna dump your ass....that's a given. You may as well get it over with so she can move on with her life and you move on with yours. No condom huh.....

[Boisdevie]

She was the perfect girl for him. So perfect he just had to screw another woman. But so obviously not his fault was it.

Stupid ****er.

[Wakeup]

I'm not sure why anyone (male/female) would expect their partner to remain celebate for months/years at a time. Hopefully, your gf has the same outlook. Being monogamous is one thing. Expecting celebacy is quite another.
Op: Stop taking chances and make sure you wear a rubber... even when your partner tells you she's on birth control pills. Casual sex without a rubber is like playing Russian Roulette with your dangly bits. (perhaps you did wear one and it broke? In which case there is always the morning after pill.)

* As for your question: You owe her the truth.

[Sbh]

You guys are still together and she has no idea about your son? If anything he should be your main concern and she should have known this a long time ago. So yes you should tell her and yes you may lose her forever but you can't hide your son forever. I think the longer you wait the worse it will be. Yea if she really loves you she'll try her best to understand you but she may need space to heal.

Best advice- Tell her and then go from there . The truth isn't always as bad as it seems. Neither is telling it.

[Boisdevie]

Yea if she really loves you she'll try her best to understand you but she may need space to heal.

I admire your faith in human nature. In her shoes I would be tempted to stick sharp needles in his eyes.

[smackie9]

I do agree with Wakeup, that staying celibate for months and years in a sense is not practical, and IMO a very high expectation. It would have been more realistic to just end the relationship at the time, but too late for that. The cheating or momentary lapse isn't the issue here, nor getting a girl pregnant, it's the fact you never told her is what is going to destroy her. She will never be able to trust you again....4 years ago it could have been forgivable, but now, not so much. The only saving grace would be that she was dating others too (possible abortion?), and so there might be hope for you yet.

[Lynda]

tell her the truth cause it always comes out sooner or later. But In my book, it would be over for good, I can forgive many things but not infidelity. No matter how long we would be seperated I would remain faithfull even if I do love sex a lot I would never cheat on him.

The problem with couples is that they say they want to be together, yet have no problems moving far away for work and living a LDR. then say it's difficult to stay faithfull. For me, it would be simple, if we have been together for a year or more, we would discuss the situation and I would definately move or he would so we can remain together and help each other out and not be seperated. That's what a strong couple is all about.

honesty is the best policy

[Maple1714]

Tell her the truth. The truth ALWAYS has a way of coming out anyway....so it's better to tell her sooner than later vs. having her find out some other way....like your son showing up at your house in 10yrs. You need to take responsibility for your actions...it's OK what happened. Are you 100% sure he is your son? Your GF will probably dump you I would imagine...but maybe not who knows?