How long should I wait

[sexybob]

Hello!

I'm looking for a bit of advice, I have been with my partner for about 5 years, over this time we have both gained weight, I have realised this and changed my lifestyle so have began losing weight, and my weight doesn't stop me doing things. My partner however, has gained a lot of weight, to the point that I am concerned about his health and it is affecting everything we do as a couple, or rather that we no longer are able to do as a couple. I enjoy being with him but it feels more like we are friends living together now because we can't be intimate very easily.
I have spoken to him about my feelings, and he agreed that it was holding us back and that he would at least try to do something about it. This was a year ago, he hasn't lost any weight and is no longer even trying to, in fact he didn't really try much anyway. Am I being unreasonable and selfish to want more from life? I think if he could make the effort then our relationship could be good again, how long is reasonable to wait ?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Dump him. Tell him you're not dumping him for being fat, but for being lazy.

Sometimes things sound mean, but they're really just true. You've waited long enough, don't hold back. Be blunt. If he does decide to change, he will appreciate it.

[Boisdevie]

how long is reasonable to wait?

However long you think it is. Unless you're prepared to put up with this situation which you don't like then need to let him know that he needs to shape up (literally) or else. You need to decide what the 'or else' means. Are you prepared to end it if he doesn't change?

[cheekxs]

Great of you to care about your healt and his.

But he need to do it himself.
you can only give him a push where is needed and support.

maybe you can look for something both of you like as sport and do it.
and cook more healthy stuff. or make a list to keep both of you weight lost.

that may motivate him to do his best so he can lose more.

at the end you tried , and he did not.
sometimes gaining weight can be also cause the person have a more heavy problem from the inside that need more help then just sport.

And just telling him to lose weight will not help then much and it may be frustrated.
Cause everyone is telling you to lose this and that and pointing at your outside. But no one have eyes for the real problem inside.
and not every one loose weight fast.
so he need to look where his problem is and take care of it.what ever that may be.

[Boisdevie]

so he need to look where his problem is and take care of it.what ever that may be.

Excellent advice Einstein. BUT quite clearly the guy doesn't give a toss does he so what does this poor woman have to do exactly? Embrace his fat and tell him he's lovely or dump him.

[sexybob]

Thanks for the advice guys. I understand he needs to do it himself, that was kinda my question, how long do I wait for him to do it himself! I guess I just wanted to check it wasn't being shallow and that other people would find it a problem too!

[Boisdevie]

how long do I wait for him to do it himself!

Since he's not doing a thing about it NOW you need to let him know he needs to get his arse in gear asap. And that if he doesn't make changes then he's history.

[sexybob]

I've told him this, he claims to understand but I think he's hurt that I would leave over it. He knows the situation so hopefully will get his ass in gear, thanks

[Boisdevie]

but I think he's hurt that I would leave over it.

Well now he knows you're serious about it HE might take it seriously. So his feelings are hurt. Tough shit. What about your feelings when he was sat on his fat arse doing nothing?