Very complicated situation, I can't let go and what do I do!?

**TomTom H** · 16-08-12, 09:49 PM

I think I know what I should do, it's a case of head says one thing my heart another. It's wrong but it just felt and feels right. Had a horrible break up and it was never a the relationship that both of us wanted and that I deserved but I stuck in there. Should probably explain the situation and don't hate me, it was effectively an affair, I'm 22 she's 29 and has children aswell as being with someone, she was not seeing both at the same time as she had broke up with him and was going down the route of seperating from him. Shall now explain everything that has happened in the past 7 months.

So me and her both work in the same place and months ago we just grew this attraction to eachother, it just happened couldn't stop it. We decided we should give it a go as it was all very genuine. Couple months on we loved eachother madly but it just got harder and harder as because of the situation it was all a secret and I couldn't be with this person I truly loved it really started to put a strain on our relationship with eachother, arguement here and there was frustrating for us both but she was the only one who could of made it work. I was her 'knight in shining armour' so to say and I believe she was in love with me and vice versa just by the things she would say. It was madness and in a way wrong but there you go. During these months I made mistakes, I told a silly little lie about how many people I had slept with, I merely forgot one and though I best tell her invade she finds out. I hurt her by questioning if she loves me, had her in tears. Had a tough couple of months where I was apparently pushy about moving things along but I had waited and waited for months because I wanted it so bad.

As it was a secret we never really had time together just incase people found out, she worried too much in my opinion but she says I never listed and it was always about me, which is untrue I just wanted to spend time with her which she couldn't give, says she lost trust in me.

We got things back on track realised what we had and could have and all was going well, started spending more time together and what not, then one weekend a text from me was sent to her phone which her partner found, obviously he wasn't happy because as far as his concerned his not going anywhere and it's his partner. We were both in panic stations about the text and though that was it we are over before we've started.

I then don't hear from her for 2 days until she's back in work, she tells me she has convinced him that there has been nothing going on, she wouldn't tell me how so I kept pushing and then bang she broke down and said she slept with him, it broke my heart badly, it came as a shock and I don't know what happened I just stood there while she said we are on hold, she's not giving up but we need to ride it out as she loves me well too much to let go and that together we will sort it. I believed her. Didn't see her for 2 weeks and when I did she wouldn't talk to me, I didn't get why so kept trying over the next week and it was like she hated me for what she was going through then ended it with me out of nowhere without any answers. I fell into depression and lost myself, as anyone would I kept trying to get answers for myself, I calmed down when I realised I had been freaking her out with the way I was being, she told me to accept it's over and that she will find time to talk to me but she can't right now as she's got other things more important to be dealing with, children, going through courts to get rid if him. So I though ok il wait but did get out of her that she doesn't trust me as I don't listen, blamed me when she started treating me like nobody. I gave her a letter, just to make her realise what she and the situation had done to me.

The following week I am at work and assualted from behind, huge clump to the back of my head and reapeatedly stamped on. Left very shaken and anxious, scared for my well being. I find out that she took the the letter home because she wanted to read it properly but he found it in her bag and now he knows everything. Police involved and what not and I'm not at work due to the fact she has told me to stay clear as he does not think his done a good enough job, she says she's sorry and there's still something there asks me to prove myself! Don't let her name get dragged in, says she has realised that she was unfair on me and asked me to stay safe.

She's now giving out signals that she still has some interest in me, we are talking like how we used to, only over the phone. I know her well and can tell that she's scared, she hasn't quite let go but thinks it's beat she should. I let her know I've still got feeling for her and she replied with the same. Maybe I'm holding onto nothing but I actually still love her, first love and all that and I believe I can talk her round, shall I just go for it? I've nothing to lose and would do whatever I could to get her back.

There's always a way that's my motto but maybe I'm being stupid and I'm just in love with the wrong person, I can't let go in other words.

Sorry for the long read and thanks for reading, hope it makes sense and if there's spelling mistakes blame the iPhone! Just some freindly and honest advice wanted

, any questions do ask as I may not of covered everything

**TomTom H** · 17-08-12, 01:03 AM

In other words I still absolutely love this girl and as they say would do anything to make her mine.

She's told me it's over but I can't get my head around why, says I've pushed her away and I think her opinion of me has completely changed, how can I make her believe in me like she once did now that we could have the oppurtunity to have a relationship we want, what type of things should I say? Does the way you feel about someone ever go away, I just feel that she let's her past determine her future and she thinks I'm the same as any other bloke, I'm not she just can't see it

I've got to give it one more go surely!?

**BackUpOrGetStng** · 17-08-12, 01:04 AM

Tell her partner that she's been ****ing you. Give him details about your sex, and anything unique that you can remember about her body or the way she has sex, so there's no question as to whether or not you're telling the truth.

If that doesn't work, then kill her, her partner, and yourself. Sorry man, those are your only options.

**TheCafeTerrace** · 17-08-12, 01:07 AM

why do I get the feeling that this thread will be presented as 'Exhibit B' in a future court case?

**TomTom H** · 17-08-12, 01:37 AM

Yes I'm a dead man walking lol, I know that but that's my own fault. I mean world war 3 could easily errupt hence why I'm taking things that side quiet seriously, restraining order, his going to be arrested and would be stupid to do it again if he doesn't get sent down, which i think he will as it was quiet a serious attack but then again if his lost his partner and kids and thinks I'm at fault for that his got nothing else to lose.

She started it as childish as it sounds and I fell in love I couldn't help that and now I can't let go whatever the consequences for my part, thanks for the advice!

Anyone else got if possible something positie to say about me getting her back?