Hello,

Desperatly looking for your thoughtfull and respectful opinions on this question I have that is weighing very heavy on my heart. I most certainly would appricate your balanced opinion and especially if you are a woman.

Im 41 and my EX girlfriend is 30. We have been in a very loving and romantic relationship for 3 years. Last year we have lived togheter. 3 months ago we seperated mainly due to issues related to me. I have been unrespectful to her in discussion (this has nothing to do with being unfaitful as such) it was a bad evening I got very angry and said hurfull things (no phisical voilance or anything obviously) she left our house. And went back to her family. We still care alot for eachtoer. We know there is a strong relation still. We are very connected to eachoter. We tried for 10 weeks now to live without eachoter. But we keep communicating and I want her to get back to me. I have extensivly apologised for my behaviour and im in therapy now to make sure im not going to relaps (she know this). Ok so far the setting...

Now the question for you...

She has met another Guy around 6 or 7 weeks ago. First it was a friend and later they got involved. THey slept togheter more than once. She likes him but she claims she is not in love with the boy. He obviously is.

He has asked her to join him to a wedding (a week holiday) far from where they live (5 hour plane trip). Expensive flight.. She booked the flight about 10 days ago and planning to join him to this wedding 10 days from now.

At the moment she booked the plane ticket she felt not good about it. She mailed me saying she was little depressed. She rather wanted this trip with me. SHe missed me and was confused.

After a few more mails in that style I agreed to see her and travelled to another country to see her and we talked. It was nice. all the same attraction, chemistry, respect and love between us instantly when we where togheter. We stayed together for 2 nights and then I drove home again.

Now she says she want to get back to me but she finds it so difficult to tell her new boyfriend that she is getting back with me. She asks me if Im ok when she still goes on this holiday with him and she says she will only go as 'friends'. Nothing will happen as she will tell him she will be back with me after the holiday.

THis is an remarkable woman and I do beleive and trust her when she says that she will just be a friend for that guy during the holiday. SHe is the love of my life and she tells me more or less the same in return. But it so hard for her to confront this boyfriend and just say its over that she want to have the choice to go and join him on this holiday if he would be ok knowing she will get back to me.

Now I have told her that I do not accept that. Even though I trust her I dont think its healthy or normal to do that. I have consulted a few friends and they agree she should not go. SHe feels that I should give her this option to go as a friend and then come back to me..

I have a very hard time accepting that. Im not a jealous person but the thought she is with a guy she spend 6 weeks with on and off. Made love with and now just goes on a holiday (altyhough I trust her not to make love with him again) for me it's not acceptable. I told her if she does that I cant be with her again. regardless if I feel she is the love of my life... She says I should give her this to get a respecfull closure on this 'fresh' relationship.. My view: This guys she knows for a few weeks.. How much of a real feeling he will have for her.. He's in love but still... On the other hand we share a very intimate 3 year relationship. We are planning to be back togheter again. Be happy and raise a family...

Im thorn.. AM i jelous and not thinking straight? What she askes me is that normally acceptable. Please again respectfull responses. Girls / Women PLEASE help me with this...

Thank you so much I really need to get some balanced responses from you. I dont wont to lose her for this but everything in my screams no...

THank you...