How to approach the lack of sex issue?

[surfingjack]

I am suffering from a very common problem and want to find a suitable solution. My wife and I no longer have regular sex (once every 1-2 months at best). It has been gradually going this way since she fell pregnant with our 1st child 4 years ago and has gradually gotten worse. She has no sex drive any more whilst I still have a high sex drive. I have coped with the problem but recently I've been getting more and more frustrated. I tell her how sexy she is and cuddle and kiss her without sex being on the agenda. I am going to talk to her about this and hope that we can resolve things but if the worst happens and she says she just doesn't want sex any more then I will have a decision to make. If she does say this I am considering suggesting I use prostitutes. Its not something I've ever done before but as a way of resolving the problem so that we are both happy I think it would be a good solution. We otherwise have a good relationship and still enjoy being together but the sex issue is causing me some concern and I don't want to risk our marriage when a fairly simple solution is available. What do you all think?

[TheCafeTerrace]

Hiring a prostitute won't work, and in not knowing this it's clear as day that you have never experienced it before. Sex is a complicated thing, and a big part of it is how you view yourself through the eyes of other people. We're self-aware creatures and you derive a lot of pleasure from sex through empathy, in knowing that you're pleasuring your partner. How you think the other person views you is important. Prostitutes do not find their clients sexy or attractive, they just want money, and as a result the sex is hollow. Imagine, if you can, having sex with someone you know would prefer to be somewhere else and tell me you would find that pleasurable - if all you're after is some sexual relief and an orgasm, you might as well just masturbate. It's cheaper.

[smackie9]

Your best bet is for the both of you to go seek help from a doctor. They can determine the best course of action, like medication for depression, counseling, sex therapy. It's better to fix what is wrong with your marriage rather than just with a band aid solution....if you seek outside sex then your marriage will become non-existent.