Another one of those sad post

[DCarter]

Hi guys,

First time poster so be kind, A little bit of back ground about my situation,i'd be going out with my Gf for over three years and we'd been living together since Jan this year at my house. Things have had been great between we both fell for each other in a matter of weeks, we've never argued or not got and used have so much fun together and a great sex life, All this changed around March this year when my gf started to become more distant and we started to spend less quality time together and sex went from daily to weekly at best, She had issues with work going through a redundancy at the same time I got another promotion at work and she became even more distant started spending most evenings in the spare room either working or on her laptop. all this came to head a month ago and she said she felt like she'd lost who she was and needed space to think and discover herself. She's since moved out of my house and is at her mums and trying to find somewhere to rent. She says she still loves me and can see us together as an old couple but she needs to sort herself out first. I can kind of understand since she'd come out of a pretty shit relationship before we meet, she had to live with her ex for 6 months before they sold there house and had only 3 months on her own before she met me.

I'm totally confused by this and just wish things could back to how they were. I'm trying not to contact her but finding it hard and if she texts or calls i tend to answer/reply. Can I have some advise on what to do? Should I go no contact and move on with my life or do people thinks there a chance we can work this through as a couple?

Dave

btw I'm 30 and my ex is 29 on a crappy salary so I bought everything so moving out is going to be really tough on her/

[kathyjoyce]

Hi Dave, I feel that your girlfriend is going through a difficult time with her redundancy and may be feeling a bit insecure. I also think that your promotion at work has made her feel worse which is why she became distant. The fact that she is texting you shows that she is thinking about you and still cares. Don't ignore her texts but play it cool. Don't put any pressure on her to get back with you, just keep things casual. I think in this situation you don't need to use the no contact rule as she seems keen to keep in touch. Once she sorts her life out and gets a job you may find that things improve between you both.. Good luck

[Justincredible]

If you really really care about, i think you know the answer to your own question. don't give up on her yet if you think she's right for you.

[rappelz]

Don't give up on her.

[DCarter]

hi guys, thanks for the replies. An update on our situation my ex is still unsure where we stand although we met up for a quiet drink on Friday and spent 4 hours talking about everything but our relationship and both agreed we had as much fun and laughed as much as we had in months and ended the night with a kiss.

She's found a new place to stay which i think is great since she needs some time and space for her, I still love her and can honestly see my future with her and I think she feels the same, however she's still in a place where i dont think she feels like she can go back to how things used to be. My question is what should i do in terms of contact? I'm due to go on holiday for a week on Saturday and she said she see when I'd got back, However i'd love to see her before i go.

[joiboi]

I think you should reduce the contact slowly and let your counter part experience what its like without you and the goodtimes. I went through a similar story a few yrs ago and from my view I think its best to keep quiet and give space. You never know there maybe a phonecall later!