I think I have found her...

[Inkantation]

Sorry this is my first post but I wanted to get people's advice and don't know where to start with the whole introductions things!

The whole reason I am writing this is because of the fact that I am a very shy person who in the past has suffered a whole heap of troubles ranging from mental health to general wellbeing. That coupled with my low self esteem really does me no favours. My whole reason for even thinking about posting on here is the fact that I have recently been blessed to have a female come into my life through work, I've been absent for a few weeks and to be honest was thinking about giving up on the job which is voluntary anyway. Long story cut short I was handling the tills that day and had been in there for 2 hours or so when I happened to look out of the window and see a sight which we never see at the museum. There walking up the path was what I can only describe as an angel in disguise, she walked up with her long blonde hair flowing behind her, in a long black low cut dress. She walked in through the door and I was speechless as she uttered the words "You're in my spot!" my reply was obviously the question "Sorry, who are you?". What a tit I felt at the time blushing away "I'm the new volunteer that works in here". So I introduced myself to herself and she did the same that day my mental health problems just seemed to completely disappear we sat the whole day (much to our manager's dismay!) talking and laughing etc. The next day we realised that we had a whole lot of things in common right down to health problems.

Now as times go on people open up to you, let you know what they're feeling. Right from the outset with this girl, I am able to share everything. And she does the same. The second week at work we are even more close, this time I have her telephone number and facebook. Now this week I have learned that a few days previously she split with her long term fiancee. Since then we have been hanging around outside work going for random rides out at Stupid O'Clock with her and myself both suffering from Insomnia.

Now the time has come when I have realised that I have a whole heap of feelings for this girl. Feelings I haven't yet felt sure I've had my ex-girlfriends and did love them to a degree. This person for obvious reasons I will not name I can't imagine life without her, even if it's just as a friend. But the feelings are much more than that, I want her to be the last piece of the puzzle, the part of the puzzle that finally fills the void that has been there for so long. She is the last piece of that heart shaped puzzle that for so long has been missing.

Now the whole reason for me posting this?

It all routes right back to the beginning, my shyness, low self esteem and my countless rejections. I really want to tell this girl my feelings, but just cant through fear of losing her completely.

This girl within 2 weeks has become the centre of my world, my Magma Core, the whole reason I enjoy going to sleep because I dream of her in all her flawed perfection. She is the Ying to my Yang. The Ben to my Jerry's. She is everything I have ever dreamed of and more in a female, she has the looks, personality, sense of humour. She is perfect and I want her so badly to be an even bigger part of my life, I want to be able to soothe away her troubles, be her shoulder to cry on but most of all I want to be her best friend and lover. I want to be the reason she gets up in the morning as she is mine. Yet I can't tell her because if I do and ruin it I lose her friendship too. All at the same time I can't bare not to tell her as so many times I have been friend-zoned.

Come on people pray for me, pray for this to work out and for me to be able to work on my self-esteem and achieve my goal of becoming a part of this wonderful girl's life I want to be able to look back on my last day and say "That moment was the perfect one, the one we all search for yet so many of us never find. Well I have found mine, and throughout my years of failures, countless imperfections and mountains that I have climbed, You are the needle in my haystack."

Basically I really think I have my true soulmate we spent hours last night at a castle ruins doing something we both love, stargazing. In particular the most magical bit was the fact that we picked a spot which none of us knew but was right under the Perseid meteor shower. During which time I had what I would deem, "The perfect moment". A shooting star went past which both of us glimpsed I told her to make a wish. As did I, at this point with her head sort of leaning against mine she turned to me with her forehead resting on mine as I looked back our eyes locked, and for what few seconds I was looking into her eyes I saw my whole life. I saw the whole 9 yards, the memories, the children, and everything else good. At this point I thought to myself "This is it. This is your one moment to make this real." just as I was thinking of placing my lips firmly against hers I bottled it.

I honestly and truthfully think that I have found my true soulmate, can anybody suggest a way in which I can make the first move as just like me she's stubborn too I need to tell her how I feel yet at the same time because of her last relationship I don't in case I push her away. But at the same time if she moves on to someone who can tell her how they feel, my world will come tumbling down and I will regret it forever. Please someone help me and I'm sorry it was such a long post!

[HeartIsAching]

Sorry, what was your question?

[Inkantation]

"I honestly and truthfully think that I have found my true soulmate, can anybody suggest a way in which I can make the first move as just like me she's stubborn too I need to tell her how I feel yet at the same time because of her last relationship I don't in case I push her away. But at the same time if she moves on to someone who can tell her how they feel, my world will come tumbling down and I will regret it forever. Please someone help me and I'm sorry it was such a long post!"

As mentioned above, if you just skimmed through it you're not going to be able to go over the answer correctly.

[TheCafeTerrace]

Dude, after half a dozen paragraphs of "she's the ying to my yang" all you asked was how to tell her how you feel. Just grow a pair and do it - simple.

[smackie9]

You have only known her two weeks....put a cork in it. You are being obsessive, putting her up on a pedestal (girls hate that) and you couldn't possibly really know someone in that short of time......slow down. Just calmly ask her out on a date, that will show her you are interested in her romantically.

[IndiReloaded]

The whole reason I am writing this is because of the fact that I am a very shy person who in the past has suffered a whole heap of troubles ranging from mental health to general wellbeing. That coupled with my low self esteem really does me no favours.

'Just asking someone out' may not be so simple for you, we understand. But, at the end of the day, it really is what you need to do.

Are there areas you *do* feel confident about? Lets discuss those and then figure out if we can find a way to match your strengths to what you need to do.

@ Cafe - you missed this one, hun, you callous extrovert.

[surfhb]

It's guys like this who barge into classrooms shooting up the place. Please work on knowing who you are first and how to deal with life before asking a girl out.

[joiboi]

I think you should just go by the phrase of "If you want it go out and get it". I think its never easy asking out a person as there is always that what if they say no. But at the end of the day you have to go out and try!

[VeryConfuzzled]

Sounds like you may have found the one, ask her out! I too am in love head over heels for a girl. She did reject me when I asked her out, but we are still friends and I have no regrets. Don't miss out or you'll regret it.