I'm a 32 yr old female & married for 9 yrs. I've been separated from my husband for 18 months now. He left b/c we were arguing all the time & basically took each other for granted. This was our 2nd separation. The 1st separation lasted 6 months, partially b/c that was the term of his lease. He left & got his own place but it was basically like we were still together, dating & sleeping with each other. Both times I was upset at the way he left. He just came home & said I have my own place now, I'm gone. I thought it was heartless & cruel b/c we have a 9 yr old son & I was left to explain that his dad would not be living with us anymore.
After 6 months into the 2nd separation I began dating a guy at the urge of my husband b/c he said he did not want the marriage anymore & I should move on. My friend & I have been dating for a year now. He knows that I do not want a boyfriend, not ready for that. He agrees & we like things the way they are now or even he would I prefer I get a divorce if it's really over. Does not like dating someone's wife, which I understand.
My husband has been begging me for the last 6 months to come back & I have refused. I really did not want to mess up a good thing I have with my friend. I truly believe my husband has changed & will value the marriage now b/c he said this was the 1st time he ever relaized he'd lose me. Always thought I'd just be there. I have not dated or slept with my husband in 18 months. I was sticking with that during this 2nd separation.
I'm just confused now about if I should let him back. His lease is up in 2 weeks. I really enjoy the time I spend with my friend & have grown to love him but just not ready for relationship with him now b/c I'd be carrying old baggage to a new relationship. I just don't know if I should give my husband another try. He cries all the times & tells me how much he's hurting & how stupid he feels. He's definitely not a crier. I know if I don't take him back the next step will be divorce b/c it's not fair to us or my son to let this go on any longer. I'm just cared to give up an incredibly great guy who loves me for someone that has a had a chance but I keep telling myself that it was my fault too that we didn't work out.
What should I do. Please help me. Not a lot of time to make this decision.